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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. |
Confucius Say: Eat Right
Confucius Say
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Aug 282016
Random Riddle: 8-28-2016
Riddles
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Aug 282016
| I am made throughout the world, I am a masterpiece. And to your ears, I am but a humble feast. I am but a traveler, depicted through paper as a start, I can even be made through the work of your heart.
What am I? |
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Joke Of The Day: The New Greeter
Jokes
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Aug 282016
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A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know of?” The first man replied, “A thought. It just pops into your head. There’s no warning.” “That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. “And, now you sir?” he asked the second man. “Hmm, let me see, a blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of.” “Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.” He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. “Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house, and on the wall, there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.” The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light,” he said. Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Old Bubba replied, “After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is Diarrhea.” “What!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response. “Oh sure,” said Bubba. “You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I had already crapped my pants.” Bubba is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
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Aug 272016
The longest living human ‘says he is ready for death at 145.
An Indonesian man who claims to be the longest living human in recorded history has described how he “just wants to die.”
Mbah Gotho, from Sragen in central Java, was born on December 31, 1870, according to the date of birth on his identity card.
Now officials at the local record office say they have finally been able to confirm that remarkable date as genuine.
If independently confirmed, the findings would make Mbah Gotho a staggering 145 years old – and the longest lived human in recorded history.
But despite his incredible longevity, Mbah Gotho says he has little wish to remain on this earth much longer.
“What I want is to die. My grandchildren are all independent,” he told local media this week.
Mbah Gotho has outlived all 10 of his siblings, four wives, and even his children. His nearest living relatives are grand children, great grand children, and great-great grandchildren.
One of Mbah Gotho’s grandsons said his grandfather has been preparing for his death ever since he was 122.
He has even bought a burial site close to the graves of his children.
“The gravestone there was made in 1992. That was 24 years ago,” Mbah Gotho’s grandson said.
Members of the family said Mbah Gotho now spends most of his time sitting and listening to the radio because his eyesight is too poor to watch television.
He has had to be spoon fed and bathed for the past three months as he became increasingly frail.
When asked what his secret to longevity is, Mbah Gotho replied: “the recipe is just patience.”
While record office staff say they have confirmed the birthdate on his identity card, he will not make it into the record books until the findings are independently verified.
The current record holder, Frenchwoman Jeanne Calment, died in 1997 at the age of 122.
Aug 272016
