Joke Of The Day: A Tasty Soup

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: A Tasty Soup
Sep 132015
 
Rubber Chicken After his recent stay in the hospital, Grandpa was particularly irritable, especially regarding food. At a nearby restaurant he stopped for a quick meal and the waiter provided a bowl of soup.

As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen Grandpa stopped him, calling: “Waiter!”

“Yes ,sir, is there something wrong?”

“The soup. Taste it,” replied Grandpa.

“I beg your pardon, Sir?”

“Taste it.”

“But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent.”

“Taste it,” Grandpa persisted.

“Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients.”

“Taste it!”

The exasperated waiter finally relented. “All right, Sir, I’ll taste it.” Then after a pause he said, “Where is the spoon?”

To which Grandpa replied triumphantly, “Ah ha … “

 

 

Dogs

 Funny  Comments Off on Dogs
Sep 122015
 
Top 10 Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

Dogs
1. Blaming your gas on me … Not Funny.

2. Yelling at me for barking. I am a dog, you idiot.

3. Taking me for a walk and then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick balancing food on my nose. Stop it.

5. Yelling at me for rubbing myself on your carpet. Why did you buy carpet?

6. Getting upset when I sniff your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered the handshake thing yet.

7. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you are not home.

8. Taking me to the vet for “the big snip,” then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

9. Dog sweaters.

10. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throws. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.