It’s So Hot…

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Aug 272015
 

It's So HotIt’s So Hot…

The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

You can say 110 degrees without fainting.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that in August, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your motorcycle.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your face shield.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can actually burn your hand on the clutch lever.

No one would dream of wearing shorts and sitting on a vinyl motorcycle seat!

Your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

Riding breaks are measured by bottles of water rather than the need for gas.

Now that your yard has burnt, you do not have to spend time mowing but it is still to hot to ride.

You have to chew the air properly before you can swallow it.

The next person to ask you “Hot ’nuff for ya?” WILL receive a black eye.

 

Confucius Say: Quietest Place

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Aug 272015
 
Confucius Quietest place in the world is the complaint department at a parachute packing plant.

 

 

Random Riddle: 8-27-2015

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Aug 272015
 
He is noble. He is rare.

He makes you squeak! Quiescent! Light!

Bright coloured things He brings to flight!

For all of that (so we are told)

He can be amazingly cold.

Who is He?
 

Riddle

 

Joke Of The Day: A Miracle In My Church!

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Aug 272015
 
Rubber Chicken Little Jimmy goes to church on Sunday. There, he runs into the priest.

The priest says, “Good morning Jimmy!”

Jimmy: “Good morning, Father.”

Priest: “Tell me Jimmy, how is your brother Timmy doing these days?”

Jimmy: “Well Father, Timmy is crippled you know? And just the other day Father, Timmy came to the church, took holy water and rubbed it on his right leg and threw his crutch away!”

Priest: “Oh my God, a miracle in my church! We are blessed by God! Then what happened?”

Jimmy: “Well Father, then he took holy water, rubbed it on his left leg and threw his other crutch away!”

Priest: “Praise Jesus! This is truly a miracle in my church! God is great! Then what happened, Jimmy?”

Jimmy: “Well Father then he fell on his a$$, he’s crippled you know?”