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A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.
‘Oh my God – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!’ ‘I can’t jump out the window. It’s raining out there!’ ‘If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!’ she replied. ‘He’s got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!’ So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. Do you always run in the nude?’ one asked. ‘Oh yes!’ he replied, gasping in air. ‘It feels so wonderfully free!’ Another runner moved a long side. ‘Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?’ ‘Oh, yes’ our friend answered breathlessly. ‘That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!’ Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, ‘Do you always wear a condom when you run?’ ‘Nope . . . just when it’s raining |
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite, and you’ll eat less.
Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can’t let that happen, can you?
One way you can serve onions is to turn them into flowers. This easy video tutorial shows you how.
Enjoy!
I suggest you find small red onions for this if you intend on putting them on a plate with other food items. Large onions would dress up a a serving platter quite nicely though.
Found the recipe in a LCBO magazine called “Food and Drink” (LCBO = liquor control board of Ontario). Cut onion in half down to about 1/2 inch of the root end but not through. Cut onions in half again and again crosswise to 1/2 inch of the root. Cut each quarter in half again but not through to the root. There should be 8 wedges attached at the bottom like a flower bud.
Place the onions in a bowl and gently toss with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Season with salt and pepper. Grease a baking dish large enough to hold the onions with plenty of space around them to open up completely.
Cover with foil and bake at 425F for 25 to 30 minutes until onions have opened up and are nearly tender.
Uncover and bake for 10 minutes more, serve with a sprinkling of capers if desired.
