Joke Of The Day: Help Wanted

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Jun 152014
 
Rubber Chicken A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.”

A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, “I can’t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.”

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, “The sign says you have to be good with a computer.”

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager.

By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, “I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can’t give you the job.”

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, “Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual.”

The dog looked at him and said, “Meow.”

 

 

Amazing Hand Paintings

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Jun 142014
 

Amazing Hand Paintings

Amazing Hand Paintings - Snake

Guido Daniele was born in Soverato (Italy) and now lives and works in Milan. He graduated from Brera School of Arts and he has been painting and participating in personal and group art exhibitions since 1968. In 1972 he started working as hyper-realistic illustrator, in co-operation with major editing and advertising companies, using

Source…


 

Random Riddle: 6-14-2014

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Jun 142014
 
The Jones family of Ohio is entertaining their cousin Henry, who is visiting from Belgium.

After staying for several days, Henry is getting ready to leave, when he presents the Jones with a gift.

It is a lamp that Henry claims is a very valuable antique that has been in his family for 70 years. It has small Bohemian figures that dance around the base when the lamp is turned on. Henry plugs it in to show the family how it works.

After Henry leaves, the father looks at his family, and says, “While it may be a pretty lamp, and it was nice of Henry to give it to us, it is not a Belgian antique.”

Why is the father so sure?
 

Riddle

 

Joke Of The Day: The Wrinkled Negligee

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Jun 142014
 
Rubber Chicken Upon getting to work one morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is reminded by his secretary that his wife’s birthday today.

At lunch, Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for her. Unfortunately, he realizes that life has been good and she has everything she needs. Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life.

He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young.

Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has. Marvin takes the gift and excitedly runs home to his wife.

Upon finding her in the kitchen he tells her to take the gift upstairs and unwrap it. He’ll wait in the kitchen.

His wife thanks him and goes up to the bedroom.

Once the package is opened she realizes that this is something she’s never had before. She also sees that it is so sheer it leaves nothing to the imagination.

She thinks for a moment and then decides that she’ll really surprise Marvin and go downstairs without any clothes on at all.

So she leaves the negligee on the bed and starts down the stairs stark without clothes. She calls out, “Marvin, come out to the hallway and look.” Marvin walks out to the staircase, looks up at his wife, and exclaims,
“All that money and they didn’t even iron it.”