Joke Of The Day: Three Choices

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Dec 102013
 
Rubber Chicken A man was involved in a terrible accident which left his member mangled and torn from his body.

The doctor assured him that modern medicine did make it possible for his manhood to be rebuilt, but since it was considered cosmetic surgery, his ObamaCare would not cover the surgery.

On hearing this, the man asked the doctor what the cost would be.

“You have three choices,” replied the doctor. “$4,000 for small, $7,000 for medium, and $15,000 for large.”

The man appeared pleased with this news, but couldn’t decide whether he wanted the medium or the large.

The doctor suggested that since the decision also affected the man’s wife, he talk it over with her privately before making a final decision. The doctor then left the room to give the man some privacy while he phoned his wife to explain the options.

When the doctor returned to the room, he found the man looking very depressed and staring into space.

“Have you and your wife reached a decision?” the doctor asked.

“Yes,” the man replied, sounding very dejected. “After discussing it, my wife has decided she’d rather remodel the kitchen.”

 

 

The Seamstress

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Dec 092013
 

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?”

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls.

“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, “No.”

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires.

“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, “No.”

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, “Yes.”

The Lord was pleased with the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.

When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Tom Selleck.

“Is this your husband?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The seamstress replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Tom Selleck, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said ‘no’ to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I’m not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT’S why I said ‘yes’ to Tom Selleck.”

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it’s for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.

That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.

Signed,
All Us Women

 

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