Aug 282013
Random Riddle: 8-28-2013
Riddles
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Aug 282013
| Five hundred begins it, five hundred ends it, Five in the middle is seen; First of all figures, the first of all letters, Take up their stations between. Join all together, and then you will bring Before you the name of an eminent king. |
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Joke Of The Day: The Most Amazing Thing You’ve Ever Seen
Jokes
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Aug 282013
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Listen,” he says to the bartender. “If I show you the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen, is my beer on the house?”
“We’ll See,” says the bartender.
So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the bar, and the hamster begins to play.
“Impressive,” says the bartender, “but I’ll need to see more.”
“Hold on,” says the man. He then pulls out a bullfrog, and it sings “Old Man River.”
A patron jumps up from his table and shouts “That is absolutely incredible! I’ll give you $100 right now for the frog.”
“Sold,” says the guy.
The patron takes the bullfrog and leaves.
“It’s none of my business,” says the bartender, “but you just gave away a fortune.”
“Not really,” says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist.”
Cartoon Of The Day: Obama’s Statement
Political
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Aug 272013
Aug 272013
The recent announcement that Mattel and the producers of “Baywatch” have joined forces to create Baywatch Barbie came as no surprise. After all, both companies have made millions off airheads with flawless skins, Malibu tans, and synthetic breasts.
If Baywatch Barbie sells well, other Barbie/TV tie-ins seem certain to follow. Some possibilities:
Melrose Place Barbie: Comes complete with her Barbie Dream Apartment, where Skipper and the rest of the gang live rent-free. Other accessories include a bottle of vodka, silk sheets and an arrest warrant.
Dr. Barbie, Medicine Woman: This helpful doll offers other homesteaders important tips like what conditioner to use out on the Plains and how to take care of their nails while shoeing a horse.
America’s Most Wanted Barbie: She’s on the run after 30 years of crime against feminism.
Oprah Barbie: Push a button on her back and this Barbie actually speaks! Hold your very own talk show with topics like how tough math class is, Ballerina Barbie’s struggle with bulimia, and Kens who wear Barbie’s clothes.
My So-Called Barbie: She faces the same troubling issues as regular teens who don’t have huge wardrobes, pools, ponies, and perfect bods.
Roseanne Barbie: The dark side of the American dream is explored with this doll, which shows what happened after Barbie graduated from high school, married too young and ate too much.
Murder, Barbie Wrote: Whenever this elder stateswoman of the Barbie set (she’s 27!) arrives in the playhouse, all the other dolls mysteriously disappear.