Joke Of The Day

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Jul 032011
 

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy’s 21st birthday came a round, he and his pal Mick took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy stepped out of the boat … and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother. ‘Grandma,’ he asked, ‘it’s my 21st birthday, so why can’t I walk ‘cross the lake like my pappy, his father, and his father before him?’

Granny looked deeply into Paddy’s troubled eyes and said, ‘Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born
in July, you frickin’ idiot.’

Johan’s Ark

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Jul 022011
 

Dutchman Johan Huibers had a dream that part of Holland was flooded – but rather than wake up and say, “Wow, that was a really bad dream!” he built a boat.

Johan’s Ark, as it has come to be known is a life-size replica of Noah’s Ark: 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high – it is half the length of the Titanic and it is seaworthy. Obviously a boat like that costs a bit of money to put together – it did, he pumped around $1.6 million into the three-year project to be exact. Luckily for Huibers, he is the director of a construction company and not hard up for cash.

These days Huibers is less concerned about surviving a doomsday scenario and more interested in turning his boat into a floating tourist attraction complete with replica animals (including an $11,000 elephant). He plans to float it down the Thames for the 2012 Olympics.

Source…

How To Of The Day: Deodorize a Room with a Bowl of Vinegar

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Jul 022011
 

If you’ve run out of Febreeze but your living room is starting to smell a little funky, you can actually clear that smell right up with just a bowl of vinegar.

From the “you-don’t-need-to-buy-this-because-you-already-have-it” files: we already know vinegar has stink-reducing abilities, but what you may not have realized is that it can actually de-odorize an entire room. Just stick a bowl of vinegar in the corner, and after a few hours that odor will be gone. Plus, you don’t need to spray it around, which always seems to make me sneeze.

Source…

Poem Of The Day

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Jul 022011
 

A poll conducted among INFOCUS magazine readers had established “waka” as the proper
pronunciation for the angle-bracket characters (<), though some readers held out resolutely for "norkies." In honor of computer symbology's increased role in our vocabulary, INFOCUS published the following poem , written by Fred Bremmer and Steve Kroese of Calvin College & Seminary of Grand Rapids, MI. >> ! * ‘ ‘ #
^ ” ` $ $ –
! * = @ $ _
% * < > ~ # 4
& [ ] . . /
| { , , SYSTEM HALTED

The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit:

Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.