Random Riddle

 Riddles  Comments Off on Random Riddle
Feb 162011
 
The letters I and S.
Hold your mouse over for the answer.
Always invisible, yet never out of sight. What are they?

Confucius Re Examined

 Amusing  Comments Off on Confucius Re Examined
Feb 162011
 

1. Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

2. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

3. Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

4. Boy who goes to sleep with stiff problem wakes up with solution in hand.

5. Couple on 7 day honeymoon make hole weak.

6. Girl who sits on jockeys’ lap gets hot tip, girl who sits on judges’ lap gets an honourable discharge.

7. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

8. Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.

9. Squirrel who runs up womans’ leg will not find nuts.

10. Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

11. Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

12. Man who scratches bum should not bite fingernails.

13. Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

14. War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.

15. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

16. Man who drives like hell, bound to get there.

17. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

18. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

19. Man who fish in other mans’ well often catch craps.

20. “A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!”

Joke Of The Day

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day
Feb 162011
 

Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots’ uniforms–both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.

As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin–but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.

The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, “You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die. . .”