Word Play

 Amusing  Comments Off on Word Play
Nov 162010
 

New words and their meanings created by dropping the first letter of an existing word.

Amished:
Hungering for a simpler way of life.

Ammogram:
A loaded message.

Iarrhea:
Running on about oneself.

Ickpocket:
A place to put your used Kleenex.

Idwife:
Every guy’s dream.

Oreplay:
Laying the groundwork for entering the mineshaft.

Ouch-and-go:
A dominatrix’s house call.

Oxtrot:
A particularly ungraceful “Dancing With the Stars” performance.

Riminal:
A man who doesn’t clean up his toilet dribble.

Riskies:
Chinese-made cat food.

Unich:
German city voted World’s Safest Town for Women.

Urple:
The colour of vomit.

Joke Of The Day

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day
Nov 162010
 

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking Up the wharf carrying two at-least-three-pound live lobsters, one in each hand.

It was three weeks after the season closed! Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Federal Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling lobsters, says: “Well me Laddie I got you this time – with two live lobsters three weeks after the season Closed!”

The Newfie says, “No – My Son you are wrong! These are two trained lobsters that I caught two weeks before the season ended.”

The Fisheries Officer says, ” Trained like how?”

“Well my son, each day I takes these two from my house down to the wharf and puts them in the water for a swim. While they swim I sits on the wharf and has me a smoke, or two. After about 15 minutes I whistles and up comes me two lobsters, and I takes them home!”

“Likely story”, the Fisheries Officer says! “Lets take them on down the wharf and see if it`s true.”

So, the Newfie goes ahead of the Fisheries Officer to the end of the wharf where, under supervision, he gently lowers both lobsters into the water.

The Newfie sits on a wharf piling and lights up a smoke, then another! After about 15 minutes the Fisheries Officer says to the Newfie, “How about whistling?”

The Newfie says ” What For?”

The Fisheries Officer says, ” To call in the Lobsters”

The Newfie says, ” What Lobsters?”