Joke Of The Day

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Nov 192010
 

The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners at the airports.

It’s a booth you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you. They see this as a win-win for everyone, with none of the whining about racial profiling. It also would eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. Justice would be swift. Case closed!

You’re in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system: “Attention standby passengers — we now have a seat available on flight number ____. Shalom.”

Ireland Wants to be the 51st State

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Nov 182010
 

Enjoy!

Amid growing a growing financial crisis, Ireland’s Prime Minister has asked the U.S. to make Ireland the 51st state.

Ireland is in the midst of a major financial crisis that is causing panic on global stock markets. Many think that Ireland, like Greece, will ask the EU to bail them out.

But WWN has learned that Ireland has had it with the European Union and has made a request to the Obama Administration to fast-track Ireland and it’s application for U.S. statehood.

Ireland would be the first state added to the United States since Hawaii became a state on August 21, 1959. The Obama Administration and Congress are putting the Irish request at the top of the lame-duck agenda. “I think we can get it done,” said President Obama, who is of Irish ancestry.

Ireland is on the brink of insolvency, which has helped drive down the S&P 500 stock index by nearly 4 percent over the last few days.

Ireland has one huge problem that has caused it to consider becoming an American state: a failed banking sector that Ireland’s government can no longer rescue on its own.

Ireland is in the midst of a real estate bust that could trump even the ruinous downturns that turned parts of southern California and Nevada into suburban ghost towns, with home-grown banks stoking it all. Now, those banks are trying to manage catastrophic losses. The Irish government has effectively nationalized the nation’s biggest banks by guaranteeing their debt, which would be akin to the U.S. government taking over Citigroup, Bank of America, J.P. Morgan Chase and Wells Fargo.

“If the Irish banks go down, the Irish government also goes down,” says economist Jacob Kirkegaard of the Peterson Institute for International Economics. “They have no choice but to ask either the EU or America for help. Most Irish citizens would rather become part of the U.S. than be beholden to the E.U.”

Read more…

What’s Your Bra Size?

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Nov 182010
 

Have you ever wondered why the letters A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, H are used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs…

{B} Barely there.

{C} Can’t Complain!

{D} Dang!

{DD} Double dang!

{E} Enormous!

{F} Fake.

{G} Get a Reduction.

{H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.