This morning a coalition of Muslim leaders warned the U.S. that if military action against Muslim countries continues, they intend to cut off America ‘s supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.
If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by DELL, AT&T, and AOL customer service reps.
Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more candidates for President either.
It’s gonna get ugly, people!
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to
mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants
as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER — What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW— The movement your money makes as it disappears
down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
for $240 per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who
bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked
up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
