Father Joseph went up to Father Patrick one afternoon and said, “I am sick of all this clean living. Tonight let’s you and me go out and party. We’ll carouse, drink, whatever we want.”
Patrick was shocked. “Are you crazy? This is a small town and everyone knows us. Besides, even if they didn’t, they would see our clothes and know we were priests.”
Joe was ready for this. “Don’t be silly. We won’t stay in town, we’ll go into the city where nobody knows us, and we’ll dress just like anyone else.”
In the end, he managed to persuade Patrick, and they went out that night and partied like professionals.
When they got back home at 5:00 AM, Patrick’s face became pale. “I just thought of something,” he said. “We have to confess this.”
Again, Joe was ready. “Relax, I told you I thought this all out in advance. Tomorrow, you go into church and into the
confessional. I will come in my regular clothes and confess, and you absolve me. Then I’ll go put on my garments, you come in and confess, and I’ll absolve you.”
Patrick was amazed at Joe’s brilliance.
So Joseph went in later that morning and said, “Father forgive me, for I have sinned. My friend and I, we’re both young men, and last night we went out and caroused. We became drunk, had carnal knowledge of prostitutes, used foul language, and danced to wicked music.”
Patrick answered, “God is patient and forgiving, and thus shall I be. Do five Our Fathers and five Hail Marys, and you will be absolved of your sin.”
A while later, their places were reversed as Patrick came in and confessed everything in detail. There was a short pause, and Joseph answered,
“I don’t believe this. And you dare to call yourself a priest?
You will do 500 Our Fathers, 500 Hail Marys, donate all your money to the church, and go around the church 500 times on your knees praying for God’s forgiveness. Then come back and we’ll discuss absolution, but I make no guarantees.”
“What? ” Father Patrick was shocked. “What about our agreement?”
Joe replied, “Hey, what I do on my time off is one thing, but I take my job seriously.”
