Joke Of The Day

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day
Feb 252010
 

Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

“What’s the matter?” Jack asked.

“I’ve been transferred to New Orleans, they’re crazy people there. They’ve got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate.”

Jack replied, “I’ve lived in New Orleans all my life. It isn’t as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school. It’s as safe a place as anywhere in the world.”

The guy relaxed, stopped shaking, and said, “Oh, thank you. I’ve been worried to death. But if you live there and say it’s OK, I’ll take your word for it. …….. By the way, what do you do for a living?”

“Me?” said Jack. “I’m a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck.”

Heated Seats

 Amusing  Comments Off on Heated Seats
Feb 242010
 

I have always loved “Gas Guzzling Cars” for their comfort and safety. I took out a Cadillac Escalade for a test drive the other day just to drive one before they become extinct.

The salesman sat in the front seat describing the car and all its wonderful options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

I stated the car must be a Republican car. He asked why I thought it was a Republican car and I explained that if it were a Democratic car, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.

Lincoln vs Obama

 Amusing  Comments Off on Lincoln vs Obama
Feb 242010
 

I’m sure most of us have read the so-called comparison of Lincoln and Kennedy, but did you ever consider the relationship between Obama and Lincoln?

You may be surprised.

Parallels of Abraham Lincoln and B. H. Obama:

1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration… Obama used
the same Bible.

2. Lincoln came from Illinois … Obama comes from Illinois .

3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature… Obama served in the Illinois Legislature.

4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President… Obama had very little experience before becoming President..

5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration… Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration.

6. Lincoln was a skinny lawyer… Obama is a skinny lawyer.

7. Lincoln was a staunch Republican… Obama is a skinny lawyer.

8. Lincoln was highly respected… Obama is a skinny lawyer.

9. Lincoln was born in the United States … Obama is a skinny lawyer.

10. Lincoln was honest, so honest that he was called Honest Abe… Obama is a skinny lawyer

11. Lincoln saved the United States …. Obama is a skinny lawyer