Joke Of The Day

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Feb 262010
 

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says: “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow.”

The second one says: “Ha! You think that’s fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet.”

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: “You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!”

Headlines In The Year 2029

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Feb 252010
 

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwest united states crop and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Iran still closed off. Physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered Nation.

Castro finally dies at the age of 112, Cuban cigars can now be imported legally. But Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal service raises prices of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

An 85 year $75.8 billion study: Diet is the key to weight lose.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every high school in the United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per litre and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

The average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches.

New federal law requires all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets a tax rate of 75%.

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