“Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.” ~ Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
Quote Of The Day
Amusing
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Feb 022010
Putting The Country Back Together
Amusing
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Feb 022010
A father wanted to read a magazine but was being bothered by his little girl, Shelby.
She wanted to know what the United States looked like. Finally, he tore a page out of his new magazine on which was printed the map of the country.
Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Shelby and said, “Go into the other room and see if you can put this together. This will show you our whole country today.”
After a few minutes, Shelby returned and handed him the map correctly fitted together.
The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly.
“Oh,” she said, “on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got all of Jesus back where He belonged, then our country just came together.”
Hayseed Dixie – Bohemian Rhapsody
Amusing
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Feb 022010
This is a new music Video from the upcoming Hayseed Dixie album, “Killer Grass,’ to be released February 8th 2010. It is from the DVD included with the album.” The DVD also contains all of the multi track WAV audio files for the complete album (over 2 Gigabytes) which can be mixed and remixed by you or anyone.
Joke Of The Day
Jokes
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Feb 022010
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston “
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded.” I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don ‘t even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.
Cartoon Of The Day
Cartoons
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Feb 022010
