Joke Of The Day

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Oct 222009
 

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.

The Pope says, “What can I do?

“The Colonel says, “I need you to change the Lord’s prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken’. If you do it, I’ll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican.”

The Pope replies, “I am sorry. That is the Lord’s prayer and I can not change the words.” The Colonel hangs up.

After another month of dismal sales the Colonel panics and calls again. “Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I’ll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken.'”

This time the Pope responds, “It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But again, I must decline. It is the Lord’s prayer, and I can’t change the words.” The Colonel hangs up again.

After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets desperate and calls the Pope again. “This is my final offer your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken’ I will donate $100 million to the Vatican.”

The Pope replies, “Let me get back to you.”

The next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, “I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican.”

The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.

The Pope replies, “The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account.”

Joke Of The Day: Prince Charles

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Oct 212009
 

Prince Charles was driving around his mother’s estate when he accidentally ran over her favorite dog, a Corgi, crushing it to a pulp.

He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic.

Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a genie appeared. “You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment,” said the genie” As a reward I shall grant you one wish.”

“Well,” said the Prince, “I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog.”

They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. “Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?” the Prince asked.

The genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. “This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?”

The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. “I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana,” said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo. “But now I love this woman called Camilla,” and he showed the genie the second photo. “You see Camilla isn’t beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?”

The genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, “Let’s have another look at the dog”

FOX News Panel: Barack Obama’s “Stupid” War On FOX News and the US Chamber of Commerce

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Oct 212009
 

This is a terrific discussion of the Barack Hussein Obama White House’s “stupid” decision to declare war on FOX News and the US Chamber of Commerce.

As Obama’s “Enemies List” grows exponentially, his wholly false campaign rhetoric of supposedly uniting the country and leaving behind the politics of division is revealed as the joke most knew it to be then.

Krauthammer is especially good here with his discussion of Team Obama’s “gutter” politics and “search and destroy” methods that are only hastening to put the lie to Obama’s supposedly-unifying 2008 campaign message.

Bananas

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Oct 212009
 

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals;

A Lion A Chimp A Giraffe ….AND… A Squirrel

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

So think carefully…

Try and answer within 30 seconds.!

Got your answer?

Here is your analysis.

If your answer is:

Lion = you’re dull.

Chimpanzee = you’re dense.

Giraffe = you’re a complete moron.

Squirrel = you’re hopeless.

A COCONUT TREE DOESN’T HAVE BANANAS.