Joke Of The Day: Halloween Jokes

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite…

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite…

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy…

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray…

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck…

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately…

Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don’t have any body to go out with…

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries…

What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball…

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving…

What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein…

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A cereal killer…

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They’re so wrapped up in themselves…

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends…

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts…

What is a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel…

What is a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane…

What type of dog do vampire’s like the best?
Bloodhounds…

What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime…

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich…

What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A trombone…

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets…

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath…

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure…

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation…

Sarah Palin: Boehner’s Health Care Address Is A Game Changer

Sarah Palin is urging everyone to tune into the weekly GOP national address. She says it will be a game changer.

God Bless Sarah Palin… She is one of US!


Mark my words – tomorrow is the game changer! Tune in to hear common sense solutions that bury the false accusations that conscientious members of Congress have no solutions to meet America’s health care challenges.

If you’re like me, shaking your head wondering why all the miscommunication between Washington and the American people who have been saying, “Please hear what we’re saying about our desire for health care reform,” then tomorrow will be a refreshing time of clarity for all.

All Americans, and especially colleagues of House Republican Leader John Boehner: please listen to tomorrow’s weekly GOP national address. Rep. Boehner will highlight a common sense alternative to Speaker Pelosi’s 1,990-page government takeover of health care. I urge you to watch for it. For a preview, go to: http://HealthCare.GOP.gov

You’ll hear solutions. You’ll hear of real choices based on America’s proven free-market principles. You’ll know once and for all what the GOP and Independents have been saying all along about alternatives to another big government take over. After tomorrow, you’ll know that accusations against the GOP and Independents for not providing solutions are false. Those claims are bogus. There are alternatives. Tune in to Rep. Boehner’s address tomorrow to hear them.

I look forward to the game changer!

– Sarah Palin

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