Your Patriotic Duty to Help Weed Out Any Neighborhood Terrorists

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Jul 072009
 

Don’t forget to mark your calendars.

As you know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He must commit suicide if he does.

So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic American men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than their wife, and to show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment. The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America !

Pun Of The Day

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Jul 072009
 

There was a tribe of South Pacific people who lived on the shore of a beautiful island where the palm leaf-covered huts stood on poles due to high tides.

The king of the tribe, being an egomaniac, ordered 10 new stone thrones to be built and stored in his huge hut.

The task done, daily life resumed until one day a huge ocean storm threw heavy waves into the community. All huts miraculously withstood the onslaught except the king’s, which collapsed under the extra weight.

Which goes to show that people who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

Joke Of The Day

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Jul 062009
 

A Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf.

The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing. He missed the ball entirely and said “Shit, I missed.”

The good Sister told him to watch his language.

On his next swing, he missed again. “Shit, I missed.”
“Father, I’m not going to play with you if you keep swearing,” the nun said tartly.
The priest promised to do better and the round continued.

On the 4th tee, he misses again. The usual comment followed.
Sister is really mad now and says, “Father John, God is going to strike you dead if you keep swearing like that.”

On the next tee, Father John swings and misses again. “Shit, I missed.”

A terrible rumble is heard and a gigantic bolt of lightning comes out of the sky and strikes Sister Marie dead in her tracks.

And from the sky comes a booming voice ……

“Shit, I missed!!!”