If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When cheese gets its picture taken, does it say ‘me’?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Why do we kill people who kill people to show them that killing people is wrong?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Why does a ‘slight tax increase’ cost you $200 and a ‘substantial tax cut’ save you 30 cents?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space?
If firefighters fight fire, then what do freedom fighters fight?
Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
What’s the opposite of opposite?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before he is considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in,” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up about every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
What happens when the future has come and gone? Robert Half
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for president and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!”
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver’s license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
