Congressional Democrats hired a speed reader to read aloud a 946 page climate bill Republicans demanded to have read in its entirety.
Only Congress would wipe out a forest to print 946 pages that will save some trees. ~ Jim Barach
In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor; “Barocky Road.” Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow. The cost is $100.00 per scoop. When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you. You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream. Are you stimulated?
20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You’ve got Windows in your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned’s trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier ain’t so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
13) Paging Mr. Johnson… Paging Mr. Johnson…
12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5) You’ve got your fly set for “Monica” instead of “Hillary.”
4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction…
3) You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2) I’m talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
And The Number One Way To Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped…
1) I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts.
