Obama Declares Iran-Dependence Day

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Jun 032009
 

If only we had a President who would personally deliver “rockets’ red glare” and “the bombs bursting in air” over Tehran this July 4th!

Another classic opinion piece by Ed Anger.

Enjoy!


I can’t believe it: Obama just invited a bunch of crazy foreigners to a Fourth of July party!

Our embassies throw Independence Day parties around the world, so this year, the Communist-in-Chief is inviting local bigwigs to come, too.
That means guys who work for President Achmed Dirtybad of Iran will get to set foot on our property!

That’s pretty funny, because Achmed Dirtybad first became famous when he and his friends took over our embassy in Iran back in the 1970s!

I knew Obama wanted to relive the Carter Presidency, but this is ridiculous. It’s bad enough he wants us to save electricity and drive ugly little cars and put up with crazy inflation like Jimmy did – but now the Teleprompter Kid wants to relive the 1970s in this whole new way! Next thing you know, Obama will be yelling “Kiss my grits” and wearing platform shoes!

I can see it now: a bunch of Iranian kooks asking for pig-free hotdogs at the cookout, or trying to barbeque a goat. I bet they bring their own fireworks, too – nuclear ones! And maybe they’ll burn an effigy of Uncle Sam, like they do every weekend anyway.

How can Iranian big shots celebrate something called “Independence Day” when they’re the same guys who lock up ladies who don’t wear bags on their heads? (Although I like their idea of not letting women drive – I guess they’ve met my mother-in-law.)

All in all, poor old Ed doesn’t feel much like celebrating this Fourth of July. Mark my words: they’ll ban fireworks and barbecues next because they cause pollution. Don’t laugh – that’s the first thing Hitler did when he took over. You can look it up!

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Medical Advice

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Jun 032009
 

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! …… Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO!!! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Conclusion:

Eat and drink what you like. Being American is apparently what kills you!

Joke Of The Day

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Jun 032009
 

A man and his wife, moved back home to Texas from Missouri. The husband had a wooden leg and to insure it back in Missouri it cost them $2000 per year! When they arrived in Texas, they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said: ‘$39.’

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Texas to insure it because it cost him $2000 in Missouri!

The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, ‘Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system above it, is $39. You just have to know how to describe it!’

The Most Dangerous Man in the World: Barack Hussein Obama

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Jun 032009
 

Once again we have the British and Canadian press doing the work the American “Main Stream Media” won’t.


Congratulations to President Obama! Osama bin Laden is no longer the most dangerous man in the world, having been effectively neutered by former President Bush’s war on terror. Obama has deftly picked up the mantle and has become America’s number one enemy.

Demonstrating its consummate mendacity, the mainstream media referred, during the 2008 campaign, to Barack Obama as “no drama Obama”. Just a few short months into his presidency, it is manifest that no drama Obama is instead, the architect of chaos and destruction. Everything Obama touches plummets into disorder.

The example de jour is the administration’s disastrous handling of the GM bankruptcy, an extortionate exercise in thuggery and demolition. Obama’s Soros-manipulated economic policies have plunged our once prosperous nation into a level of debt that will enslave future generations.

Obama’s non- response to the detonation of a nuclear bomb and ongoing missile launching by North Korea sent the rogue regime the unambiguous message that they are free to run wild with nukes, terrorizing the rest of the world. Pyongyang is celebrating its own regime change by launching missiles every fifteen minutes, running something of a lavish infomercial, hoping to impress the truculent leadership of Iran.

Barack Obama’s upcoming Speech to the Muslim World will provide the Chaos Generator in Chief with a singular opportunity to put the United States and our ally, Israel in grave danger. The prevailing wisdom is that Obama will use his Middle Eastern tour as the second leg of his Apologize for America Tour. It was bad enough to apologize to our allies; they may not have loved us, but they aren’t likely to lob any nukes at us either.

When Obama speaks in Cairo, the take away will be far different. Islamic extremists are always watching us for any evidence of impotence. Radical Islam cannot be pacified by dialog or real estate. Dr. Charles Krauthammer explained in 2005 how Ahmadinejad reasons: “The president of a country about to go nuclear is a confirmed believer in the coming apocalypse. Like Judaism and Christianity, Shiite Islam has its own version of the messianic return—the reappearance of the Twelfth Imam”.

Iranian Madman in Chief, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has crowed that he has been chosen to beget the blazing apocalypse that will summon the 12th Imam. Showing presumable support for Ahmedinejad’s plans, Barack Obama told the BBC that Iran has a right to nuclear energy. Of course, Obama added the admonition that Iran should only have nukes if they pinky swear to use them for peaceful energy production. That arrangement has been conspicuously effective with North Korea.

Obama has been spouting Soccer Mom diplomacy: just show the radical Muslims how nice we are and they will quit trying to slaughter us en masse, which overlooks centuries of violence against infidels.

As Krauthammer said: “Negotiations to deny this certifiable lunatic [Ahmedinejad] genocidal weapons have been going nowhere. Everyone knows they will go nowhere. And no one will do anything about it”.

Obama’s own Muslim background gets trotted out occasionally when it serves the president’s purposes. During the campaign, it was a hate crime to use Barack Hussein Obama’s middle name or to mention his childhood in the Islamic nation of Indonesia. As he prepares to “reach out” to the Muslim world, his heritage is now supposed to be an asset.

It is abominable, but not unexpected that the president plans to disregard our ally, Israel, on his tour of the Middle East. Obama’s recent meeting with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu didn’t go well. Confrontations between Obama and non-fawning grownups never go well for Bam.

Obama’s orders are to press Israel into freezing settlements on the West Bank to pacify the make -believe moderate, Mahmoud Abbas, successor to Original Terrorist, Yasser Arafat. Revered in the radical Muslim world for his pioneering work in creating the suicide bomber, Arafat, like Jimmy Carter and Al Gore is a Nobel Prize recipient.

This land for peace racket has been going on for years. Bill Clinton saw his legacy fantasies fall apart when Arafat refused to agree to a land for peace agreement that gave the terrorist plenty of real estate; a move that was foreseeable to anyone who had a smattering of insight into the tactics of Islamic extremists. This rebuff was especially painful after the Clintons had offered the Arafats such frequent use of the Lincoln Bedroom.

TOTUS would like us all to believe that the magic of the teleprompter will warm the hearts of backwards savages, hell bent on slaughtering all non believers and ruthless tyrants who condone slavery as well as Sharia. Obama’s flowing gibberish has already begun to grate on the American people. The Narcissist in Chief wants to change Muslim impressions of us; as if we were the ones sawing off heads and strapping dynamite to our children in the mad furtherance of ancient dogma.

The more probable outcome will be confirmation by radical Islam that our new president is committed to appeasement at all costs and openly sympathetic to their deranged cause. Tragically for Israel, Obama does sympathize with radical Islam. Puppet master George Soros, an unrepentant Nazi collaborator, is also not exactly pro-Israel

Gil Hoffman of the Jerusalem Post is reporting that former ballerina, Rahm Emanuel has been meddling in Israeli government, telling an official: “In the next four years there is going to be a permanent status arrangement between Israel and the Palestinians on the basis of two states for two peoples, and it doesn’t matter to us at all who is prime minister [of Israel]”.

The Obama administration is trying to force Netanyahu into bringing the left wing Kadima party into his administration to destabilize Netanyahu’s government.

Expect Obama’s visit to increase the piling on Israel and denouncements of Israel’s right to protect herself from relentless attacks by Hamas and the existential threat posed by a nuclear armed Iran. Israel’s crime? Persistently asserting her right to exist. Thanks to Ayers-based public education, anti-Semitism has proliferated in the US.

In the most deleterious narrative, the president will address the Muslim World the way he lectures the US: making unrestrained commitments that he has no intention of honoring. Should Mr. Obama pledge to the Islamic world that he can prevail over Israel regarding the West Bank, the repercussions will be disastrous. Obama would have to dismantle America’s friendship with the lone democracy in the Middle East; and, contend with the push back against the US for our inevitable failure to restrain Israel.

Republican politicians are preoccupied with hand wringing and admonishments to each other about the impending confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee, Sonia Sotomayor. Evidently, it has not occurred to many republicans that the chaos master wants them doing exactly that. Who benefits if republicans fixate on Sotomayor and squabble with each other? The 2010 elections are our last chance; republicans need to Cheney up. The republicans need to honor their responsibility to expose Sotomayor, but not lose all perspective while the loosest of canons is rolling around in Arab states.

TOTUS should choose his words carefully in Cairo but based on what we’ve seen up until now, that isn’t likely.

Source…


Hugo Chavez Says “Comrade” Obama More Left-Wing

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Jun 032009
 

I never thought I would agree with Chavez on anything.


Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez said on Tuesday that he and Cuban ally Fidel Castro risk being more conservative than U.S. President Barack Obama as Washington prepares to take control of General Motors Corp.

During one of Chavez’s customary lectures on the “curse” of capitalism and the bonanzas of socialism, the Venezuelan leader made reference to GM’s bankruptcy filing, which is expected to give the U.S. government a 60 percent stake in the 100-year-old former symbol of American might.

“Hey, Obama has just nationalized nothing more and nothing less than General Motors. Comrade Obama! Fidel, careful or we are going to end up to his right,” Chavez joked on a live television broadcast.

During a decade in government, Chavez has nationalized most of Venezuela’s key economic sectors, including multibillion dollar oil projects, often via joint ventures with the private sector that give the state a 60 percent controlling stake.

Obama has vowed to quickly sell off General Motors once the auto giant is back on its feet, but the government will initially control the company after a $30 billion injection of taxpayer funds.

Chavez, a vehement critic of the U.S. “empire,” has toned down his rhetoric since Obama took office in January and the two men shook hands during a summit in Trinidad and Tobago in April.

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