12 Year Old Boy Arrested for ‘Breaking Wind’ in Class

 Amusing  Comments Off on 12 Year Old Boy Arrested for ‘Breaking Wind’ in Class
Nov 222008
 

Arrested? Whatever happened to cleaning erasers, pushing the mop in the gym, detention hall, writing sentences, running laps around the ball field, push ups, sit ups, yanking parents out of work?

If disruptive flatulation were a crime, I’d be on death row.

12-year-old charged after deliberately “breaking wind” in class

A 12-year-old Florida student was arrested earlier this month after he “deliberately passed gas to disrupt the class,” according to police. The child, who was also accused of shutting off the computers of classmates at Stuart’s Spectrum Jr./Sr. High School, was busted November 4 for disruption of a school function. A Martin County Sheriff’s Office report, a copy of which you’ll find below, notes that the 4′ 11″ offender admitted that he “continually disrupted his classroom environment by breaking wind and shutting off several computers.” The boy, whose name was redacted from the police report released today, was turned over to his mother following the arrest. The young perp turned 13 on November 15.

Jimmy Kimmel Researches Appropriate Obama Jokes

 Amusing  Comments Off on Jimmy Kimmel Researches Appropriate Obama Jokes
Nov 212008
 

In this skit Jimmy Kimmel goes to a barbershop to research what jokes might be safe about our first African-American President Barack Obama. I think it’s funny that Obama is seen to be more like Alfonso Ribeiro than Urkel and that Michelle Obama might be the first “First Lady” with a butt.

Enjoy!

Proof That Jesus Was All Things

 Amusing  Comments Off on Proof That Jesus Was All Things
Nov 212008
 

Here is proof that Jesus was…

…Jewish:

1. He went into his father’s business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

…Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

…Puerto Rican:

1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was always in trouble with the law.
3. His mother did not know who his father was.

…Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

…Black:

1. He called everybody brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn’t get a fair trial.

…Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But the most compelling evidence of all – proof that Jesus was a WOMAN:

1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.
2 He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for him to do.

Joke Of The Day: Change

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: Change
Nov 202008
 

Fellow Business Executives:

As the CEO of this business that employs 140 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our next President, and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who will have to go.

So, this is what I did. I strolled through our parking lot and found 8 Obama bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them.

If you have a better idea, let me know.

 Older Entries  Newer Entries