Joke Of The Day

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Aug 262008
 

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States .

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, “Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!”

The passerby says, “You are mistaken, I am Mexican.” The man goes on and encounters another passerby. “Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America !”

The person says, “I not American, I Vietnamese.”

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, “Thank you for the wonderful America!”

That person puts up his hand and says, “I am from Middle East , I am not American!”

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, “Are you an American?”

She says, “No, I am from Africa !” Puzzled, he asks her, “Where are all the Americans?”

The African lady checks her watch and says….”Probably at work

Joke Of The Day

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Aug 252008
 

The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.

Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner. After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.

At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish. Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another ‘bad hair’ day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day John McCain came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.

That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, “Obama, I think John McCain is a low-life, cheatin’ son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don’t even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.”

The next night (after John McCain returns with 50 fish), Harry said to Obama, “Well, tell me, how is John McCain cheating?”

Obama replied, “Harry, you’re not going to believe this, but he’s cutting holes in the ice”.

Democrats Pushing for Four Day Work Week for Federal Employees

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Aug 252008
 

Can you guess the reason? How about high gas prices?

Nancy “Nine Percent” Pelosi shuts down Congress and skips town without passing an energy bill. Now the Democrats are pushing for a four day work week for gas relief for themselves and federal employees, even though they refuse to do anything to provide relief for ordinary Americans. Amazing!

Hoyer Advocates for a Four-Day Work Week

House Majority Leader Steny H. Hoyer (D-Md.) is pushing a work week of four, 10-hour days for federal employees.

In a letter, released this week, to the Office of Personnel Management, he asked the agency to “undertake comprehensive analysis of the transitioning to a 4-day work week for all possible federal employees and inform me by August 31, of any additional actions Congress would need to take to implement such a policy by the end of fiscal year 2008.”

Hoyer acknowledged that federal agencies and departments “already have discretion to implement alternative work schedules.”

That discretion is underlined by an OPM document, “Negotiating Flexible and Compressed Work Schedules,” which says a 1982 law “authorizes a versatile and innovative work scheduling program for use in the Federal Government.”

The document says “many management officials are finding that the use of flexible and compressed work schedules can help resolve a number of personnel problems.” Those problems include employees with dependent-care responsibilities.

The high cost of fuel makes the four-day week all the more important, Hoyer’s letter said. “In these times of high gasoline prices, I believe the federal government should do all it can to ensure that federal agencies and departments are appropriately reducing gasoline consumption. This goal can be accomplished with the adoption of personnel policies to limit unnecessary commuting.”

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