What Women Want in a Man

 Amusing  Comments Off on What Women Want in a Man
Jul 122008
 

What women want in a man at age 22:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What women want in a man at age 32:

1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What women want in a man at age 42:

1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What women want in a man at age 52:

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What women want in a man at age 62:

1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

What women want in a man at age 72:

1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet

Tick Tock… Tick Tock: Israeli Warplanes Practice in Iraq

 Other  Comments Off on Tick Tock… Tick Tock: Israeli Warplanes Practice in Iraq
Jul 112008
 

Why is it that Israel seems to be the only country that realizes time is running out?

I guess they feel rushed to get this done while Bush is still in office. If Obama is elected, they know he will throw them under the bus.

Israeli warplanes practice in Iraq


Israel Air Force (IAF) war planes are practicing in Iraqi airspace and land on US airbases in the country as a preparation for a potential strike on Iran, sources in the Iraqi Defense Ministry told a local news network on Friday.

The report, which was also carried by Iranian news outlets, claimed that recently massive IAF overnight presence was detected in several American held airbases.

Iraq denied on Friday reports claiming the Israeli Air Force has been practicing for a possible attack against Iran in its airspace.

According to the sources, former military officers in the Anbar province said IAF jets arrive during the night from Jordanian airspace, enter Iraq’s airspace and land on a runway near the city of Hadita. The sources estimated the jets were practicing for a raid on Iran’s nuclear sites.

The sources also said the American bases in Iraq might serve as a platform for the IAF from which to attack Iran. If Israeli warplanes will take off from Iraq, they can reach Bushehr in five minutes – a “record time,” the sources said.

After reports of a massive IAF exercise over the Mediterranean surfaced several weeks ago, an Israeli official told the times that the drill was “the dress rehearsal” for an attack on Iran’s nuclear sites.

On Thursday, Defense Minister Ehud Barak said Israel was the “strongest country in the region.” Sending a thinly veiled warning to Iran, Barak said Israel “has already proved it did not shy away in the past from acting when it fears its vital interests are at stake.”


Fast Eddie Rendell, Asleep at the Wheel: Massive Democrat Corruption Scandal in Pa.

 Amusing  Comments Off on Fast Eddie Rendell, Asleep at the Wheel: Massive Democrat Corruption Scandal in Pa.
Jul 112008
 

I can’t think of a better post than one that involves 12 Democrats from my own state indicted for corruption.

We pay these crooks to work for us and look how they abuse power. Politics in this country has gone to who can do the most for me while I’m office…that’s why we’re looking at over $4.00 a gallon gas.

Was Fast Eddie Rendell asleep at the wheel or is he part of all this? There’s a saying: “A fish rots from the head”. “Corruption starts at the top. It never starts at the bottom.”

Scandal in the statehouse: 12 Democrats face corruption charges


A SORDID TANGLE of corruption, cash and sex rocked the Statehouse yesterday in a political scandal that left one current and one former legislator and 10 current and former staff members facing criminal charges.

Among the accusations leveled by two state grand juries: Former top legislative staffer Mike Manzo got his lover, a twenty-something former rural beauty queen, a $29,000 job and $7,000 bonus mostly for doing her schoolwork.

State Attorney General Tom Corbett announced the charges against the 12, all Democrats, in a news conference in Harrisburg.

“It’s a very sad day in Pennsylvania,” Corbett said.

The long-running investigation began with a Harrisburg Patriot-News story about secret bonuses to legislative employees. The 12 are accused of using public funds to finance political activities, a vacation, meals for friends and Manzo’s no-show job for his girlfriend.

The charges could harm Democrats in legislative battles this fall, and some have accused Republican Corbett of a partisan focus in the investigation.

Corbett said yesterday he’ll probe Republicans and Democrats and that he had focused first on House Democrats because investigators discovered they were beginning to destroy documents relevant to the case.

“We are investigating all four caucuses of the general assembly,” Corbett said.

Among the accusations in the grand-jury reports:

* In 2005, Manzo, then chief of staff to House Majority Leader Bill DeWeese, gave a $21,000-a-year state job with virtually no duties to Angela Bertugli, a young woman he’d had a sexual relationship with since the previous summer.

The following year she made $29,000 plus a $7,000 bonus, even though other staffers never saw her and she had no discernible responsibilities.

Manzo’s wife, Rachel, another former legislative staffer, also is charged with steering public money to political activities.

* Former House whip Mike Veon and Manzo directed more than $1 million in taxpayer-funded bonuses to legislative employees for working on political campaigns, often on state time.


Joke Of The Day

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day
Jul 112008
 

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, and they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore
and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
‘Polish Remover’