I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting “13! 13! 13!”
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the fence and so, I looked through to see what was going on.
Some #@!$%@# poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting “14! 14! 14!……”
It’s official. There are now three men running for office. This demonstrates that Hillary Clinton, graduate of Wellesley and Yale, wife of a Governor and President, Senator from New York, resident of one of the wealthiest areas in NY State, is, in fact, just one boys.
Hey, because they are such good drinking buddies, maybe McCain can make her his running mate after she loses to Obama.
How Hillary Clinton beat John McCain at vodka drinking
Should Hillary Clinton defy all odds to become the Democratic presidential candidate, she will know for a fact that she has the beating of her Republican rival John McCain…when it comes to drinking contests, at least.
It has emerged that Mrs Clinton took on Mr McCain at downing vodka shots when the two senators were on a congressional tour of Estonia in 2004.
Rumours of the drinking contest have surfaced before, but had always been dismissed as apocryphal until the story was finally confirmed by Mrs Clinton’s campaign manager, and by the owner of a restaurant in the Estonian capital of Tallinn.
Dimitri Demjanov, proprietor of Gloria’s, said the two political heavyweights managed four shots each before Mrs Clinton was declared the winner, though the rules of the contest remain somewhat opaque.
Was it first past the post? Did Mr McCain demand a recount? Mr Demjanov refused to say, but when asked who was the winner he did not hesitate before answering: ‘Hillary won. She stayed correct after four shots. And John McCain too.’
Mr Demjanov spoke briefly to the BBC after Terry McAuliffe, Mrs Clinton’s campaign manager, said in an interview that Mrs Clinton had ‘beaten’ Mr McCain in the drinking contest.
He said: ‘She loves to sit, throw ’em back. We all hear about the story that she and John McCain actually had a shot contest, I think in the Ukraine or somewhere around the world. And she actually beat John McCain in a shot contest.
‘She’s a girl from Illinois who likes to throw ’em down with the rest of us.’
Mr McCain’s ‘people’ were rather less forthcoming, saying their man had been for a few drinks with Mrs Clinton but denying a contest.
Quite why Mr McAuliffe chose to reveal the story at such a crucial time in the Democratic campaign is unclear, but tales of hard drinking rarely turn out to be vote winners.
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Lock and load to protect your Liberty!
A Sniper with a Viper!
A Magnum with a Magnum!
An Automatic with an Automatic!
Missouri Car Dealer Offers Free Gun With Car Purchase
Salesmen at one Missouri car dealership aren’t just kicking in a free CD player or factory air: They’re offering a free handgun with every purchase.
Through the end of the month, car buyers at Max Motors in Butler will have a choice — $250 toward either a gun purchase or gasoline.
General manager Walter Moore said that so far, most buyers have chosen the gun, adding that he suggests they opt for a semiautomatic model “because it holds more rounds.”
(In the fine print, the ad on the Web site explains, “Check written toward purchase price” and also mentions, “Approved Background Check REQUIRED!!”)
Moore said he suspects his “Free Handgun” ad will draw protests in some places. But not in Butler, about 65 miles south of Kansas City.
Moore said, “Down here, we all believe in God, guts and guns.”
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle – a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.
That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening – red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze – perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get ‘those feelings’ again..
He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn’t had sex for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He said, ‘Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?’
