The simple truth is … real men don’t wear guyliner. Once a man starts wearing eyeliner he has officially lost his testicles and is viewed as weak by the majority of men.
Eyeliner For Men?! Pencil These Guys In
When Josh Lomon brought his fashion A-game to the Kelly Clarkson concert at DAR Constitution Hall this fall, he wore skinny jeans and a dramatic necktie and topped off the ensemble with a black fedora. But his friend Mary Betancourt was taken with the thick, black rings of eyeliner around his eyes, smudged just so.
“You look so . . . affected,” she said.
Guyliner. The new catchphrase for boys behaving girly, joining last year’s manbags (handbags), mandals (sandals), mannies (nannies) and himbos (bimbos). It’s the lexical equivalent of making pink hammers for women.
Of course, the fellas have been dipping into our makeup bags for years. (Yes, we noticed, and we have one tip: It’s called blending.) But eyeliner? That can take years to master, even with coaching from teen magazines and a few shots of Jaeger.
Plus: Why? You can deal with a man who gets a manicure. You can deal with a man who handicaps “Project Runway.” But eyeliner?
Previously:
Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians
Real Men Don’t Dress Like This
Harry Reid: Wimp Extraordinaire
