Tag: Tests

Amusing Jokes

The Methods To Grade Final Exams

The methods to Grade Final Exams:

1. Dept. of Statistics:  All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.

2. Dept. of Psychology:  Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

3. Dept. of History:  All students get the same grade they got last year.

4. Dept. of Religion:  Grade is determined by God.

5. Dept. of Philosophy:  What is a grade?

6. Law School:  Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.

7. Dept. of Logic:  If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.

8. Dept. of Computer Science:  Random number generator determines grade.

9. Music Department:  Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and – would be sharp and flat respectively).

10. Dept. of Physical Education:  Everybody gets an A.

 

Amusing

The Math Test

California officials have determined that students would probably do better with math word problems, if they could relate them to real life examples. Towards that end, may I present:

The City of Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Exam

Name:_______________________________
Gang:___________________________

1. Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?

2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn’t cut it?

3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800-per-day crack habit?

4. Jarome want to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4X4. If he has stolen 2 BMWs, 3 4X4s, how many Chevies will he have to steal to make $800?

6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $425 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison, and how many years is he likely to get for killing the bitch that spent his money?

7. If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 cans of paint?

8. Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?

9. Thelma can cook dinner for her 16 children for $7.50 per night. She gets $234 a month welfare for each child. If her $325 per month rent goes up 15%, how many more children should she have to keep up with her expenses?

10. Salvador was arrested for dealing crack & his bail was set at $25,000. If he pays a bail bondsman 12% and returns to Mexico, how much money will he lose by jumping bail?

Amusing Information

How Smart Are You?

Read this sentence:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count ALOUD the F’s in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not go back and count them again. See below…

ANSWER:

There are six F’s in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three of them. If you spotted four, you’re above average. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius.

There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs. The human brain tends to see them as V’s and not F’s. Pretty weird, huh? It fools almost everybody.

 

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