Santa Claus Archives - Page 7 of 14 - Common Sense Evaluation

Funny

The Perfect Man And The Perfect Woman

January 16, 2017January 15, 2017 gags

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)

The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling ****.

So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen.

Cartoons Funny

Bonus Cartoon Of The Day: 13 Cans

December 25, 2016December 24, 2016 gags

Jokes Riddles

Random Riddle: 12-25-2016

December 25, 2016October 11, 2016 gags

What nationality is Santa Claus?

Show answer

Jokes

Elf Jokes

December 20, 2016October 6, 2016 gags

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elfabet.

Q: Who is the most famous singing elf?
A: Elf Vis.

Q: What is the most favorite elf pet?
A: An Elflephant?

Q: What do elves do when a fellow elf falls down?
A: They elf em up.

Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: He had low Elf esteem.

Q: What do you call an elf that likes to swim?
A: An elfin.

Q: What do you call a stingy elf.
A: Elfish

Q: How do elves get up into the workshop attic?
A: The Elflevator.

Q: How do you describe an elf who refuses to take a bath?
A: Elfully smelly.

Q: What do you call an elf who teaches english?
A: A subordinate Claus

Amusing Funny

Santa’s House Listed On Zillow Real Estate Website

December 15, 2016December 14, 2016 gags

The folks at the real estate website Zillow are obviously in a holiday mood. They’ve just revealed a listing for Santa’s House at the North Pole.

It’s not opulent but it’s extremely cozy, with three bedrooms, two bathrooms and 2,500 square feet of “gorgeous old-growth timber logged on site.” Santa Claus’ house has never been sold and is not on the market, Zillow said in a news release.

Although the house is not for sale, Santa was able to update his home’s description and add photos, which can enhance the “Zestimate” value, Zillow said.

Built in 1822, the home looks great, thanks to a 2013 update with modern amenities.

The gourmet kitchen, for example, features an oven with 12 different cookie settings. The living room retains its Old World charm with a floor-to-ceiling river rock fireplace for roasting chestnuts.

In Santa’s study are a writing desk and sewing table where Santa made the original teddy bear, according to Zillow.

“Santa’s home at the North pole is one of the most famous homes in the world, so we’re thrilled it’s now on Zillow,” said Zillow spokesman Jeremy Wacksman.

Also, at the Santa’s house listing on Zillow, children can start following Santa’s Christmas Eve trek to deliver presents around the world through the official NORAD Santa tracker. Type “Santa’s house” into the search bar on Zillow.com and click on “Locate Santa” in the lower right corner of the page.

The 25-acre property includes a workshop that is, of course, state of the art with work stations for 50 elves. The garage houses Santa’s all-weather sleigh, and the stables have space for eight live-in reindeer.

With all these features, this property would be snatched up if it were for sale. The “Zestimate” price of $656,957 or rental rate of $3,300 per month would be a bargain for Santa Claus’ house at the North Pole.

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