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Feb 232009

“This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it or their revolutionary right to dismember it or overthrow it.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

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Feb 142009

Just a few days after being nominated, Senator Judd Gregg withdrew as the nominee for commerce secretary. In a statement explaining why he turned it down, he cited “irresolvable conflicts.”

Apparently he had paid all his taxes … he just wouldn’t fit in. ~ Jay Leno

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Jan 222009

During the inauguration, Washington, DC, set up prostitution-free zones.

Isn’t that supposed to be the whole city? I mean, is Washington so corrupt now we just rope off the areas where people actually follow the law? ~ Jay Leno

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Jan 072009

The Iranian president delivered a special holiday message on British TV on Christmas Day. The Iranian president said that if Jesus were alive today, he would be standing next to him.

I’m sure Jesus would be wearing an “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt, too. ~ Jay Leno

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Dec 272008

You know how bad the economy is?

This week, Exxon Mobil had to lay off 25 congressmen. ~ Jay Leno

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