Excellent analogy! From a teacher in the Nashville area.
Who worries about “the cow” when it is all about the “Ice Cream?
The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president.
We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote. To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members.
We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.
The class had done a great job in their selections.
Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots \of parental support. I had never seen Olivia’s mother.
The day arrived when they were to make their speeches Jamie went first.
He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Everyone applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the podium. Her speech was concise. She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down.
The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.” She surely could say more. She did not have to.
A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn’t sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it? She didn’t know. The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.
Jamie was forgotten.
Olivia won by a landslide.
Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and fifty-two percent of the people reacted like nine year olds. They want ice cream.
The other forty-eight percent of us know we’re going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.
Recognizing when your mind has become infested with liberalism, and knowing the full extent of that devastating news, is vital information that you should have in order to navigate life’s many dangerous obstacles and roadblocks.
This simple, yet scientific, test has been programmed to evaluate your “liberal quotient,” which is the exact opposite of intelligence quotient, and usually portends serious mental and moral defects.
The test:
1. Abortion
A. The privacy provision in the U.S. Constitution was authored by:
( ) Roe V. Wade, one of the original founding fathers.
( ) Sandra Day O’Connor.
( ) Paid lobbyists for Planned Parenthood and Code Pink
B. Abortions should be:
( ) Mandatory for all unmarried women.
( ) Included in universal health care coverage paid for by the government.
( ) Funded by eliminating the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy.
2. Global War on Terror
A. The war on terror is:
( ) Being fought everywhere in the world, except Iraq.
( ) Lost: The terrorists have won and America should surrender immediately.
( ) Proof that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are much smarter than George W. Bush.
B. Domestic Surveillance
President Bush has personally listened to calls made and received by Democrats and moderate Republicans. This type of domestic spying is OK as long as the president does not use racial profiling in deciding which calls to spy on.
( ) True ( ) False
3. Taxes
High taxes:
( ) Stimulate economic growth and create millions of secure, high paying jobs.
( ) Are needed to keep overachievers modest
( ) Should be paid by any family with an annual income in excess of $7,450.
4. Energy and Dependence on Foreign Oil
A. Drilling for new oil reserves in America is:
( ) Prohibited by the U.S. Constitution.
( ) Sure to irritate Muslim leaders whom Bush should be working with, rather than against.
( ) Unnecessary if automobiles are outlawed.
B. Additional refining capacity would:
( ) Increase demand, thereby causing more global warming.
( ) Be the moral equivalent of the Holocaust.
( ) Be OK in blue states if built by brown illegal aliens.
C. The best option for dealing with the high cost of gasoline is to:
( ) Ignore it. Americans drive too much as it is.
( ) Raise gasoline taxes $5.50 per gallon to reduce demand.
( ) Cut off supplies to Red states.
( ) Ignore it–higher prices will drive Bush’s poll numbers even lower.
5. Illegal immigration
A. Illegal immigration is:
( ) Needed by liberals in order to win elections.
( ) A misnomer. They are actually undocumented Democrats!
( ) Mexico’s chief export.
B. Border security should be:
( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce.
( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce and more Democrats.
( ) Used to keep Republicans out of the United States.
C. The fence between the United States and Mexico is:
( ) Unconstitutional. It discriminates against Mexicans too fat to scale a fence.
( ) A good idea if it will stop the Minutemen from invading Mexico.
D. Bush’s proposed immigration reform scheme:
( ) Will work if guest workers are required to join a labor union.
( ) Should be approved by Mexico before being sent to Congress
( ) Sounds like amnesty, but Mexicans here illegally deserve amnesty!
E. Janet Napolitano, Democrat governor of Arizona:
( ) Thinks ‘’Minutemen’’ is a reference to the sexual staying power of Border Patrol agents.
( ) Was for Illegal Immigration before she was against it.
( ) Was a “stealth” candidate in Mexico’s presidential election in 2007
6. Using Liberalism to Understand Islam
A. Ramadan:
( ) Is a scared Muslim ritual that has been commercialized into a national hotel chain—Ramada Inn—by greedy American capitalists.
( ) Is not covered by constitutional separation of church and state, because the founding fathers were all Christian Caucasians.
B. The Koran:
( ) Specifically identifies George W. Bush as the anti-Allah.
( ) Names Barack Obama as the candidate most committed to change.
( ) Is needed to counter Judeo-Christian propaganda found in the Bible.
C. Mosques:
( ) Are holy sanctuaries, except when used to plot nuclear attacks against Israel.
( ) Are never used to hide weapons, except during time of war. Because of infidels, Islam has always been, and will always be, at war.
D. The practice of rewarding martyrs with 72 virgins:
( ) Makes far more sense that the Christian myth about a virgin giving birth to a Jew come to save the world.
( ) Assures that Allah will always have a large contingent of dedicated, virile young men eager to give their very lives for the righteous cause of Islam.
( ) Proves that Christians who promote abstinence are extremists who do not understand spirituality in this life nor the one to follow!
Congratulations! You have successfully completed this objective assessment of your vulnerability as a practicing liberal.
Because we understand that self-esteem and confidence are very fragile commodities to liberals, we provide neither answers nor grades to this test. This is essential to protect those who may have performed poorly.
But rest assured that you did GREAT– like everyone else, regardless of sex, nationality, race, language, sexual preference, age, blah, blah, blah!
Excellent analogy! From a teacher in the Nashville area.