Tag: Oil

Amusing

Bad Day At Work

If you don’t laugh at this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it’s real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds, my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.”

Amusing

Obama Plans To Use Executive Orders To Ensure America’s Dependence On Foreign Sources Of Oil


Say goodbye to “Drill Here Drill Now”. Get ready for long lines at the pump and gas at or over 8 dollars a gallon. The idiots that voted for “Change” have no idea what they have done. They haven’t the brain power to understand the danger of not having our own oil production.

Gird your loins and say goodbye to falling gas prices, the coal industry, offshore drilling, liquefied natural gas and say hello to Jimmy Carter’s second term.

Obama to use executive orders for immediate impact

President-elect Obama plans to use his executive powers to make an immediate impact when he takes office, perhaps reversing Bush administration policies on stem cell research and domestic drilling for oil and natural gas.

John Podesta, Obama’s transition chief, said Sunday Obama is reviewing President Bush’s executive orders on those issues and others as he works to undo policies enacted during eight years of Republican rule. He said the president can use such orders to move quickly on his own.

“There’s a lot that the president can do using his executive authority without waiting for congressional action, and I think we’ll see the president do that,” Podesta said. “I think that he feels like he has a real mandate for change. We need to get off the course that the Bush administration has set.”

Podesta also said Obama is working to build a diverse Cabinet. That includes reaching out to Republicans and independents — part of the broad coalition that supported Obama during the race against Republican John McCain. Defense Secretary Robert Gates has been mentioned as a possible holdover.

“He’s not even a Republican,” Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada said. “Why wouldn’t we want to keep him? He’s never been a registered Republican.”

Obama was elected on a promise of change, but the nature of the job makes it difficult for presidents to do much that has an immediate impact on the lives of average people. Congress plans to take up a second economic aid plan before year’s end — an effort Obama supports. But it could be months or longer before taxpayers see the effect.

Obama could use his executive powers to at least signal that Washington is changing.

“Obama’s advantage of course is he’ll have the House and the Senate working with him, and that makes it easier,” said Carl Tobias, a law professor at the University of Richmond. “But even then, having an immediate impact is very difficult to do because the machinery of government doesn’t move that quickly.”

Presidents long have used executive orders to impose policy and set priorities. One of Bush’s first acts was to reinstate full abortion restrictions on U.S. overseas aid. The restrictions were first ordered by President Reagan and the first President Bush followed suit. President Clinton lifted them soon after he occupied the Oval Office and it wouldn’t be surprising if Obama did the same.

Executive orders “have the power of law and they can cover just about anything,” Tobias said in a telephone interview.

Bush used his executive power to limit federal spending on embryonic stem cell research, a position championed by opponents of abortion rights who argue that destroying embryos is akin to killing a fetus. Obama has supported the research in an effort to find cures for diseases such as Alzheimer’s. Many moderate Republicans also support the research, giving it the stamp of bipartisanship.

On drilling, the federal Bureau of Land Management is opening about 360,000 acres of public land in Utah to oil and gas drilling. Bush administration officials argue that the drilling will not harm sensitive areas; environmentalists oppose it.

“They want to have oil and gas drilling in some of the most sensitive, fragile lands in Utah,” Podesta said. “I think that’s a mistake.”

Two top House Republicans said there is a willingness to try to work with Obama to get things done. But they said to expect Republicans to serve as a check against the power held by Obama and Democratic leaders in Congress.

“It’s going to be a cheerful opposition,” said Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind. “We’re going to carry those timeless principles of limited government, a strong defense, traditional values, to the American people.”

Pence, of Indiana, is expected to take over the No. 3 leadership post among House Republicans.

In other transition matters, Obama’s new chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, would not say whether Obama would return to the Senate for votes during the postelection session this month. Obama’s presence would be extraordinary, given his position as president-elect, especially if Congress takes up a much-anticipated economic stimulus plan.

“I think that the basic approach has been he’s going to be here in Chicago, setting up his economic, not only his economic team, but the policies he wants to outline for the country as soon as he gets sworn in, so we hit the ground running,” Emanuel said.

Also, Emanuel would not commit to a Democratic proposal to help the auto industry with some of the $700 billion approved by Congress to for the financial bailout.

Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said in a letter Saturday to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson that the administration should consider expanding the bailout to include car companies.

Podesta appeared on “Fox News Sunday,” as did Pence, and CNN’s “Late Edition,” where Reid also was interviewed. Emanuel spoke on ABC’s “This Week” and CBS’ “Face the Nation.”

Amusing

Happy American Energy Freedom Day


Today is the day that the bans on oil shale and offshore drilling for oil and natural gas in America have expired. We can now be free from hostile nations that supply us with oil. Just think about it… right off our shores there are reserves estimated to hold over 20 billion barrels of oil and 97 trillion cubic feet of natural gas. And in the west, oil shale is estimated to be between 800 billion and 2 trillion barrels of oil. That is more than three times the proven oil reserves in Saudi Arabia alone.

Americans are now free to pursue vast amounts of our own energy. That’s right; we are finally on our way to developing energy in America for Americans.

Today is truly a great day for all Americans!

God bless America.

Amusing

Democrats Pass Sham Energy Bill

Well the Democrats continue to screw the American people. As usual, under the cover of darkness, they passed their “Hoax” Energy Bill (H.R. 6899). The bill passed 236-189 despite the objections of Republicans who said it would do little to boost offshore oil and gas production.

These corrupt a$$holes want to open up the strategic reserve, stating that it will cause speculators to drive down prices, but refuse to allow drilling for the exact same reason. Obviously Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats are banking on the idea that the American electorate is stupid. This can only lower their 9 percent approval rating and I think they are in for a big surprise in November. At least I hope so!

This may well die in the Senate. If that is not the case, President Bush, who recently lifted the executive order ban on drilling, may well veto it or refuse to sign it. Lets hope to God that is the case.

Here is the roll call vote.

Another Sham “No-Energy” Energy Bill

Highlights of the Democrat Energy Bill (H.R.6899):

· Implements vast restrictions on energy drilling on the Outer Continental Shelf (OCS) compared to what would otherwise be allowed if the current moratorium on OCS energy development were allowed to expire on October 1, 2008.

· Provides states no incentive to allow for the expanded OCS drilling. That is, states would not get revenue shares in any of the newly leased areas.

· Repeals the moratorium on oil shale on federal lands, but prohibits any actual oil shale leasing unless a state allows it via state law. Allowing the current moratorium to simply expire in two weeks would allow for oil shale leasing on federal lands without state approvals.

· Releases 70 million barrels from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve (SPR) and provides for a subsequent replenishment with a less desirable grade of oil.

· Authorizes $1.7 billion taxpayer dollars to subsidize public transportation ridership already at record levels.

· Includes a requirement, commonly known as the Renewable Portfolio Standard or the Renewable Electricity Standard, that electric suppliers, other than governmental entities and rural electric cooperatives, provide 2.75% of their electricity using renewable energy resources by the year 2010—and increasing incrementally to 15% by the year 2020.

· Directs Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to develop loan products and flexible underwriting guidelines to facilitate a secondary market for energy-efficient and location-efficient mortgages on housing for low and moderate income families—and for second and junior mortgages made for the purposes of energy efficiency or renewable energy improvements.

· Mandates gas stations owned by larger oil and gas companies to install at least one alternative fuel pump (natural gas, E-85, biodiesel, or hydrogen) by 2018.

· Includes the Charlie Rangel transportation earmark for New York by terminating the remaining portions of the New York Liberty Zone tax incentives program (implemented to encourage business investment in lower Manhattan).

· Includes several tax increases—primarily the special carve-out of large (and foreign-government-owned) oil and gas producers from the domestic manufacturing tax deduction, the freeze of this tax deduction for all other oil and gas companies, and a restriction of how foreign oil and gas extraction income is determined for purposes of the foreign income tax credit. The bill also includes a PAYGO gimmick that will force energy companies to remit $3 billion in estimated taxes in FY2013 sooner than they otherwise would have to.

What isn’t in the bill:

· Litigation reform, so that American energy exploration and development, including that authorized by this legislation, is not further halted by environmentalist lawsuits.

· Allowing energy exploration and development in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR).

· Expedited petroleum refinery permitting.

· Expedited nuclear reactor permitting.

· There is also no language regarding futures markets speculation.

Other

Saudis Walk Out of OPEC


This is the best news I have read in a long time. Without the Saudis, OPEC is broken. The Saudi’s are smart enough to know that OPEC is trying to kill the Goose that laid the golden egg! Maybe they are getting nervous about America drilling for its own oil and ending our dependence on foreign supplies.

This should drive oil prices down even further. Now we can pick and choose whom we get our oil from and we can even restrict oil purchase from certain rogue countries. What was once a Monopoly could turn to competitive pricing. This will be interesting to watch.

The death of OPEC

Saudi Arabia walked out on OPEC yesterday, saying it would not honor the cartel’s production cut. It was tired of rants from Hugo Chavez of Venezuela and the well-dressed oil minister from Iran.

As the world’s largest crude exporter, the kingdom in the desert took its ball and went home.

As the Saudis left the building, the message was shockingly clear. “Saudi Arabia will meet the market’s demand,” a senior OPEC delegate told the New York Times. “We will see what the market requires and we will not leave a customer without oil.”

OPEC will still have lavish meetings and a nifty headquarters in Vienna, Austria, but the Saudis have made certain the the organization has lost its teeth. Even though the cartel argued that the sudden drop in crude was due to “oversupply”, OPEC’s most powerful member knows that the drop may only be temporary. Cold weather later this year could put pressure on prices. So could a decision by Russia that it wants to “punish” the US and EU for a time. That political battle is only at its beginning.

The downward pressure on oil got a second hand. Brazil has confirmed another huge oil deposit to add to one it discovered off-shore earlier this year. The first field uncovered by Petrobras has the promise of being one of the largest in the world. The breadth of that deposit has now expanded.

OPEC needs the Saudis to have any credibility in terms of pricing, supply, and the ongoing success of its bully pulpit. By failing to keep its most critical member, it forfeits its leverage.

OPEC has made no announcement about any possibility of dissolving, but the process is already over.

Load More