Tag: Navy

Amusing

Three Navy Ships Put it in Perspective

Seeing her next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective… ENORMOUS!

Shoulder to shoulder, the deck measures 4.5 acres, with displacement of about 100,000 tons with full complement. Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling…

The USS Ronald Reagan is expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years, and carries over 80 combat aircraft. The bridge towers 20 stories above the waterline, and at 1092 feet long, the hull is nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall.

Driven by four 21-ft. bronze propellers each 21 feet across and weighing 66,200 pounds, the USS Ronald Reagan is home to cca 6,000 sailors. It carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days between port calls, with 18,150 meals served daily.

Four onboard distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes…

USS Bill Clinton:

The USS William Jefferson Clinton is show here sailing out of its home port of Vancouver , BC.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton ‘for his foresight in military budget cuts’ and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

This one is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which -although they cannot be launched on the 100 ft deck- form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board. This crew -much like those aboard the USS Jimmy Carter- receive weeks of special training in how to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States… at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may have found America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

When conflict cannot be avoided, the USS Bill Clinton has orders to promptly seek refuge in Canada.

USS Barack Obama:

The USS Barack Hussein Obama is a secure development program, and at this point details are vague.

But no worries… he has a plan.

Source…

Amusing

Rules For Kicking Ass

Rules for the Non-Military

Dear Civilians,

‘We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.

For those of you who can’t join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem – kick their ass.

2. When you witness, firsthand, some one burning the American Flag in protest – kick their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues and telling others that you used to be ‘Special Forces’ will give us veterans a just reason to kick your ass.

5. Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will only make you look stupid and give us another reason to kick your ass.

6. The next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them,’Do you fly a jet?’ Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance gives those vets the right to kick your ass (children are exempt).

7. If you witness someone calling the Coast Guard ‘non-military’, inform them of their mistake – and then kick their ass.

8. The next time Old Glory ( the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her – of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a penalty, thus having a veteran kick your ass.

9. ‘Your mama wears combat boots’ never made sense to me – stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your ass!

10. ‘Flyboy’ (*Air Force*), ‘Jarhead’ (*Marines*), ‘Grunt’ (*Army*), ‘Squid’ (*Navy*), ‘Puddle Jumpers'(*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of endearment that we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them will give those service members the right to kick your ass.

11. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, or support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our Country would get it’s ass kicked.

12. It’s the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It’s the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It’s the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It’s the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.

AND ONE MORE:

13. If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish – KICK THEIR ASS.

THANK YOU

Amusing

Thank Your Military

An average group of Americans gathered to publicly thank their United Stated Military for the freedom they provide. If you want to thank your military, pass this video on to every person you know so it will eventually reach every present and former military person across the globe. We want the military to know we appreciate their service and sacrifice!

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