Life Without Email

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Oct 232015
 

Life Without EmailAn unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager says, “You will be employed at minimum wage, $7.25 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day.”

Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the Microsoft manager replies, “Well then, that means that you virtually don’t exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed.”

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 LB flat of tomatoes at the supermarket.

Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day,he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night.

And thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. Getting up early every day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly.

After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pickup truck to support his expanding business. By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pickup trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned, “What! You don’t have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce? Just imagine where you would be now, if only you had been connected to the Internet from the very start!”

After a moment of thought, the tomato millionaire replied, “Why, of course! I would be a floor cleaner at Microsoft!”

 

ObamaCare: Microsoft Ending 100% Coverage for Employees

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Oct 102010
 

How’s that hope and change thing working for you Kool Aid drinkers that voted for Imam Obama?


Microsoft’s gold-plated employee health-care benefits are losing a bit of their gleam. The company told its employees today that they will be required to start contributing to their health care coverage beginning in two years. Microsoft is currently among a relatively small number of large U.S. corporations — and one of very few tech giants — that pay all of their employees’ health-care premiums.

“We can confirm that Microsoft has begun to evolve its employee health care benefit,” the company said in statement. “There will be no changes for the next two years, but in 2013, employees will contribute to their health care.”

Although Microsoft is unusual in paying for 100 percent of health-care benefits, the risk in requiring contributions is that full coverage might have been a factor keeping some employees at the company, or persuading talented recruits to join. However, the company said “a guiding principle in this evolution is that Microsoft will continue to offer market-leading health and wellness benefits that rank among the best in the country.”

The move appears to anticipate rising costs under U.S. health-care reform initiatives, said insurance agent Jonathan Hanson of Hanson Benefits in Kirkland, who specializes in employee benefits.

Microsoft’s health-care benefits have traditionally been “very rich” compared with those offered by most corporations, Hanson said. He likened the forthcoming contribution requirement to telling people who get free Jaguars that they’re going to need to start paying for part of the car’s air conditioning.

Microsoft didn’t quantify the changes as part of its public statement, but Mary Jo Foley of ZDNet reports that there will be out-of-pocket maximums starting between $1,000 and $2,500 for catastrophic illnesses. She reports that the company is encouraging employees to set up health savings accounts.

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Xbox 360 – Project Natal

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Jun 022009
 

Microsoft’s new motion controller uses object, movement, and voice recognition to deliver a new kind of immersive gaming experience.

Awesome!


“The next step in interactive entertainment is to make the controller disappear” ~ Steven Spielberg


“You are the controller,” teased Microsoft at their E3 conference today, firing the shot heard round the blogosphere: a no-controls-whatsoever motion-sensing device.

“Can we make you the controller?” they asked, before answering with an Obama-like “Yes we can.” Forget Steve Austin, it’s The Six Million Dollar Design Grail: Gentlemen, we can rebuild you…we have the technology…better, stronger, faster…and did we mention without an external controller?

Like a nerdy gladiator swaggering onstage to do battle with breathlessly expectant fans and naysayers alike, Microsoft utterly wowed with “Project Natal.” I mean really wowed. Yeah, it’s kind of a dumb name, but it may turn out to be the most impressive show item any company’s crowed about in years. It’s Nintendo’s Wii without the gangly Wii-remote, Sony’s Eye Toy with dramatically better vision. The promise of interaction without wires or widgets. The future you’d been thinking was still a year or three away.

What we saw today was unprecedented: True 1-to-1 motion tracking. Wave your arm and your onscreen avatar follows you precisely. Bend, yoga-like, to form cute animal shadow-shapes and a silhouetted image on a virtual canvas curls and contorts picture-perfectly. Shift toe-to-toe, tennis-like, anticipating objects hurled your way and whatever algorithms are intelligently sorting behind the scenes recognize your intentions, filtering out flailing limbs or ignoring unnecessary maneuvers.

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