Common Sense Evaluation

Hopefully this will shed some light out there on why we men are never depressed.

• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be President.
• You can never be pregnant.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
• You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• Same work, more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
• New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood all the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about Tanks (Sherman? Tiger? T70?).
• A five-day vacation only requires one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• Your underwear is $5.95 for a three-pack.
• You almost never have strap problems in public.
• You are unable to see wrinkles on your clothes.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades even.
• You only have to shave your face and neck (or head)
• You can play with toys all your life.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons.
• You can wear shorts no matter how your leg looks.
• You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in just 25 minutes.

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.
Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male…. Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female…. A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female…. An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male.. …. A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female…… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can share.
Male.. Call it what you will, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another when necessary.
Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;

He said . . .. I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said . .. . You wear pants don’t you?

He said . . …… Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That’s a good idea – you stand infront of the sink, while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . …. W hat have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . ……Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . …… Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
She said . .. They don’t have time

He said . . How many men does it ta ke to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . .. We don’t know; it has never happened.

She said. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
He said ……. . . They already have boyfriends.

She said…What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . .. A widow.

He said . … . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . .. . Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.