Profiling – Do You See a Pattern Here?

A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that they imagine America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to themselves.

Our politically correct government says absolutely No Profiling!

Pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following multiple choice test.

These events are actual events from history. They really happened! Do you remember?

1. In 1915, 1.5 million christain Armenian civilians were murderd by:
a) Adolf Hitler
b) The Apaches
c) John Lennon
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 called the “Young Turks”

2. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
a) Superman
b) Jay Leno
c) Harry Potter
d) A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

3. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
a) Olga Corbett
b) Sitting Bull
c) Arnold Schwarzenegger
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a) Lost Norwegians
b) Elvis
c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. During the 1980’s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a) John Dillinger
b) The King of Sweden
c) The Boy Scouts
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a) A pizza delivery boy
b) Pee Wee Herman
c) Geraldo Rivera
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a) The Smurfs
b) Davey Jones
c) The Little Mermaid
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a) Captain Kidd
b) Charles Lindberg
c) Mother Teresa
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a) Scooby Doo
b) The Tooth Fairy
c) The Sundance Kid
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a) Richard Simmons
b) Grandma Moses
c) Michael Jordan
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a) Mr. Rogers
b) Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill’s women problems
c) The World Wrestling Federation
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In the 1980s there was an assissination atempt on the Pope’s life by:
a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b) The Supreme Court of Florida
c) Mr. Bean
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by he passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b) The Supreme Court of Florida
c) Mr. Bean
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

14. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a) Enron
b) The Lutheran Church
c) The NFL
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

15. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a) Bonnie and Clyde
b) Captain Kangaroo
c) Billy Graham
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

16. In 2008, a Armenian reporter in Turkey was murdered (shot in front of his newspaper) for stating that there should be a discussion between Christian Armenians and Muslim Turks about the Genocide perpetrated by the Turks by:
a) Bugs Bunny
b) Ronald Regan
c) Dali Lama
d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Headlines In The Year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwest united states crop and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Iran still closed off. Physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered Nation.

Castro finally dies at the age of 112, Cuban cigars can now be imported legally. But Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal service raises prices of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

An 85 year $75.8 billion study: Diet is the key to weight lose.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every high school in the United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per litre and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

The average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches.

New federal law requires all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets a tax rate of 75%.

Lincoln vs Obama

I’m sure most of us have read the so-called comparison of Lincoln and Kennedy, but did you ever consider the relationship between Obama and Lincoln?

You may be surprised.

Parallels of Abraham Lincoln and B. H. Obama:

1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration… Obama used
the same Bible.

2. Lincoln came from Illinois … Obama comes from Illinois .

3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature… Obama served in the Illinois Legislature.

4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President… Obama had very little experience before becoming President..

5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration… Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration.

6. Lincoln was a skinny lawyer… Obama is a skinny lawyer.

7. Lincoln was a staunch Republican… Obama is a skinny lawyer.

8. Lincoln was highly respected… Obama is a skinny lawyer.

9. Lincoln was born in the United States … Obama is a skinny lawyer.

10. Lincoln was honest, so honest that he was called Honest Abe… Obama is a skinny lawyer

11. Lincoln saved the United States …. Obama is a skinny lawyer

Symptoms Of The Bird Flu

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone’s windshield

A Quiz For People Who Know Everything

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn’t. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters “dw” and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter “S.”

Answers To Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends . . Boxing

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward . Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons . Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside .. Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.)

6. Three English words beginning with dw .. Dwarf, Dwell and Dwindle.

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar . Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh Lettuce.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with “S”.
Shoes, Socks, Sandals, Sneakers, Slippers, Skis, Skates, Snowshoes, Stockings, Stilts.

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