I went into Wendy’s the other day around 9:00 p.m. I was the only one in the store. I ordered a Frosty. The guy at the counter pushed the little button on his register and leaned into the microphone and said “Frosty”. He then proceeded to turn around and draw the drink HIMSELF!
I asked why he used the mike, and his response was, “That’s the way I was trained to do it. If I don’t, I get confused”.
I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence.”
It didn’t sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these days it may have been too long, so I rewrote it.
The 2nd edition went: “To keep an idiot busy for hours, re-read this sentence.”
It’s doing pretty good. I have a deal for the sequel. The 3rd edition is going to go: “Re-read this line.”
Now, if I could just find the time to write it.
Dear Great Britain, WE’RE SORRY…
We’re sorry we sent that idiot community organizer over there.
He’s been a complete asstard to our closest allies (you among Israel) and has shown the same level of irresponsible foreign policy as his irresponsible domestic policy.
You see, we were duped. We fell for the “Hope and Change” crap he threw at us without knowing what it really meant. This is perhaps the major media’s fault since they were supposed to investigate and report that but I guess that tingle in their leg had them distracted because it couldn’t have been a broader conspiracy could it? We were mesmerized by his mannerism and articulate persona and were purposely kept in the dark that he had no experience by that Pravda/KGB-like propaganda machine of leftist elitists and anti-American activists.
We’re trying to expose all his lies but he just created his Ministry of Information on top of his compliant mainstream media so that will make things extremely difficult.
In the meantime, we apologize for his following actions:
1. Siding with Argentina over the Falklands
2. Calling France America’s strongest ally
3. Downgrading the Special Anglo-American Relationship
4. Supporting a federal Europe and undercutting British sovereignty 5. Betraying Britain to appease Moscow over the New START Treaty
7. Throwing your inspirational gift of Churchill’s statue out of the Oval Office
8. The insulting gift of DVDs for the Prime Minister and the insulting iPod gift to her Majesty
9. Insulting words from the State Department (when Obama’s crony said; “There’s nothing special about Britain. You’re just the same as the other 190 countries in the world. You shouldn’t expect special treatment.”)
10. Undermining British influence in NATO
11. Claiming he’s Irish
12. Writing the wrong year in the ledger (the idiot also thinks we have 57 states)
13. Speaking during your national anthem (he feels all his speeches should have music behind them, he’s a megalomaniac)
14. Just being a snobbish ******* (think it goes back to his father but probably just his megalomania)
We, your brothers and sisters in America apologize for the actions of this moron and we hope that the majority of us see him for what he is and NOT be duped into putting him back in office come November 2012.
We’re sorry.
