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Boston Hero

August 10, 2013June 18, 2013 gags

Two boys in Boston were playing basketball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy picked up a board lying nearby, wedged it into the dog’s collar and twisted it, breaking the dog’s neck and thus ending the attack. His friend was saved.

A newspaper reporter from the Boston Globe witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy. Realizing he had less than 20 minutes to get the story entered for the next edition, the reporter began entering the story into his laptop as he did the interview, beginning with the headline:

Brave Young Celtics Fan Saves Friend From Jaws Of Vicious Animal

“But I’m not a Celtics fan,” interjected the little hero, looking over the reporter’s shoulder as he typed.

“Sorry,” replied the reporter, “but since we’re in Boston, I just assumed you were.”

Hitting the delete key, the reporter replaced the head:

John Kerry Supporter Rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack

“I don’t like Kerry either,” the boy responds.

“Huh,” the reporter says. “I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Celtics, Kerry or Kennedy. OK, then, what team or person do you like?”

“I’m a Houston Rockets fan and I really like George W. Bush,” the boy says.

Hitting the delete key, the reporter began again:

Arrogant Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet

Cartoons

Cartoon Of The Day: Real American Idol

May 27, 2013May 27, 2013 gags

Information Political

Chris Kyle Statue Created For His Wife

March 20, 2013March 19, 2013 gags

It began as a sculpture to honor all SEALs. In the end, it will resemble just one — the reported deadliest sniper in American military history.

Greg Marra started crafting a 400-pound clay visage of a Navy SEAL intending to offer the finished product to either the Navy SEAL Foundation or the National Navy UDT-SEAL Museum in Fort Pierce, Fla. But in early February, he got a call from friend and promoter E.F. “Gene” Sweeney.

“The model needs to be Chris Kyle,” Sweeney told Marra.

Kyle, a former chief special warfare operator, died on a Texas gun range Feb. 2; police said the SEAL and a friend were shot and killed by a former Marine whom Kyle reportedly had been helping deal with post-traumatic stress.

Kyle’s 160 confirmed kills — unconfirmed kills could push that figure past 250 — are the most in U.S. military history. He earned two Silver Stars and five Bronze Stars with “V” devices, among other decorations, according to Navy personnel records.

Marra worked about a month to tailor his statue to the man behind those numbers.

“Greg put his hands in the clay Feb. 4, and they’ve been there ever since,” said Sweeney, executive director of business affairs at American Patriots in Art and a former Air Force member, in a March 7 interview.

Instead of offering the reworked sculpture to special-operator organizations, Marra decided to donate it to Tara Kyle, the sniper’s widow.

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Pictures Political

Guess Which One

March 10, 2013March 9, 2013 gags

Information Political

Dr. Benjamin Carson Offers The Antidote to Obamacare

February 8, 2013February 8, 2013 gags

I heard Dr Carson´s common sense, achievable plan for universal medical care on Rush´s show yesterday. You could literally describe it on the back of an envelope. Tell me why the geniuses we elect to a life of luxury in Congress cannot come up with a similar plan? I think it would be overwhelmingly approved by the American people. Instead, we have Obamacare shoved down our throats.

I’m sorry. I have one more observation, one more observation to make about Dr. Benjamin Carson. What is also refreshing is the man communicates in plain English and with simple rationality. In 43 seconds! Remember, Shakespeare: “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Brevity is how you make an impression. The fewer number of words you need to make a point, the more powerful the point. Forty-three seconds, and we got the antidote to Obamacare. Plain English, simple, rational — and, in addition to that, he illustrated how to confront and deal with Obama.

Now, contrast that to what’s going on in Washington. The Republicans are out there giving long speeches about how they want to help people and how they’re misunderstood. “We’re gonna reach out to this group and that group and we’re gonna rebrand! We have to a better job of explaining what our policies are all about, and we need to explain how we really like people.” We have seminars about abandoning principles. We have long discussions and treatises and people writing long columns on suggestions from the Republicans on how they need to moderate here and modify there and reach out over here and do this, that, there and so forth.

And a guy comes along in 43 seconds and sets out a position based on our principles of individual responsibility and free markets that is a logical solution that makes total sense to everybody who hears it. Now, they might have some questions. “Well, what do you mean about this health savings account? Where does it get the money? How can I spend it?” But they’re easily explained. Those questions have easy answers that are also understandable and rational.

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