Tag: Health

Amusing

The Final Word on Nutrition and Health

For those of you who watch what you eat… Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

  1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
  3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans
  4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Amusing

Second Act: Ernestine Shepherd

Ernestine Shepherd should be an inspiration to everybody.

If Moochell Obama was as active as Ernestine people might take her “Get up and move” crap a little more seriously.

Exercise is a must, says the world’s oldest competitive female bodybuilder.

 

Amusing

Important Women’s Health Issue

Important Women’s Health Issue:

1. Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
2. Do you suffer from shyness?
3. Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness, and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living with ” Margaritas !! ”

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

– Dizziness
– Nausea
– Vomiting
– Incarceration
– Erotic lustfulness
– Loss of motor control
– Loss of clothing
– And, a desire to sing Karaoke
– Loss of money
– Loss of virginity
– Table dancing
– Headache
– Dry mouth
– Dehydration

* WARNINGS:

* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Please check with your doctor, then share this information with other women who may need the benefits of “Margaritas!”

Amusing

School Bans Lunches From Home

Nothing boils my blood faster than this kind of Liberal crap!

Packing school lunches for kids every day is no doubt a chore. But what if you weren’t allowed to?

One Chicago school has banned lunches brought from home, the Chicago Tribune reports. Administrators at Little Village Academy, a public school, say the policy is all in the name of good health. Principal Elsa Carmona told the Tribune she created the policy after watching students bring “bottles of soda and flaming hot chips” for their lunch.

“It’s about the nutrition and the excellent quality food that they are able to serve (in the lunchroom). It’s milk versus a Coke,” Carmona said.

Some kids and parents at the school beg to differ about the food quality, saying it doesn’t taste good, and the Tribune reported that dozens of kids threw food in the garbage, uneaten. We don’t know what’s on the menu at Little Village, but these photos of “an enchilada dish” are less than appealing. And really, when is the last time you sampled delicious fare in a school cafeteria? (I am forever haunted by the glue-like yellowish thing my elementary school called lemon pudding.)

Recipes aside, the policy leaves a bad taste in the mouth for plenty of other reasons.

Unless a student has a medical excuse to bring food from home, the only option other than eating cafeteria food is to eat nothing. (Think those kids will ace a quiz on an empty stomach?) And does something like glucose intolerance merit a medical excuse? What about vegetarianism?

Cost is another matter. What if parents don’t want to spend money on school lunch because they can send less expensive food from home?

Source…

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