This is brilliant. It’s too bad the gun control zealots won’t watch it.
Language Warning!
Tag: Government
Not Raising Hogs
COPY Of A LETTER TO: The Secretary of Agriculture
Dear Sir:
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wellsburg, Iowa, received a check for $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I would just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven’t raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $442.00 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $1,000.00 for not raising hogs.
If I get $1,000.00 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000.00 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000.00 the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.
Now another thing. These hogs I will not be raising will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?
I want to get started as soon as possible as this seems to be a good time of the year not to raise hogs and grain.
Also, I am considering the “not milking cows” business, so send me any information on that too.
In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.
Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.
Patriotically yours,
***** *. *********
Upside-down Land
You know you live in upside-down land if:
* You can get arrested for expired tags on your car, but not for being in this country illegally.
* Your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more it doesn’t have.
* The Supreme Court of the United States can rule that lower courts cannot display the 10 Commandments in their courtroom while sitting in front of a display of the 10 Commandments.
* Children are forcibly removed from parents who appropriately discipline them while children of “underprivileged” drug addicts are left to rot in filth infested cesspools.
* Working class Americans pay for their own health care (and the health are of everyone else) while unmarried women are free to have child after child on the “State’s” dime while never being held responsible for their own choices.
* Hard work and success are rewarded with higher taxes and government intrusion, while slothful, lazy behavior is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, and subsidized housing.
* The government’s plan for getting people back to work is to provide 99 weeks of unemployed checks (to not work).
* Politicians think that stripping away the amendments to the Constitution is really protecting the rights of the people.
* The rights of the government come before the rights of the individual.
* Parents believe the State is responsible for providing for their children.
* You pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your neighbor defaults on his mortgage (while buying iPhones, flat-screen TVs, and new cars) and the government forgives his debt and reduces his mortgage (with your tax dollars).
* Being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you “safe.”
* You have to have your parents signature to go on a school field trip but not to get an abortion.
* An 80-year old woman can be stripped searched by the TSA but a Muslim woman in a burqa is only subject to having her neck and head searched.
* The government sends its troops to war, but won’t let them return fire on the enemy out of courtesy to the surrounding civilians being used as shields.
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