Tag: Federal Government

Funny Jokes

Government Employee Performance Evaluations

government-employee-performance-evaluations

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation or performance review just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from United States Federal Government employee performance evaluations:

1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.”
2. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
3. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of definite won’t be.”
4. “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
5. “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”
7. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
8. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
9. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.”
10. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.”
11. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”
12. “A gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
13. “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
14. “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
15. “He’s been working with glue too much.”
16. “He would argue with a signpost.”
17. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
18. “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
19. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”
20. “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
21. “A prime candidate for natural de-selection.”
22. “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
23. “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”
24. “He’s got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
25. “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
26. “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
27. “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”
28. “It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”
29. “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
30. “Takes him 2 hours to watch ’60-minutes’.”
31. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”

 

Political

How Much Land The Government Owns In Every State

How Much Land the Government Owns In Every State
Click to enlarge

The Constitution allows the federal government to possess land in three forms: territories, enclaves and other property. Territories referred to land that was owned by the federal government but had not been formally made into states. Enclaves referred to land within a state that was owned by the federal government for essential purposes such as ‘Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards.’ Other property refers to land holdings for enumerated purposes, and gives the federal government limited discretion to possess land.

The rise of progressivism in America can be clearly seen by taking a look at what land the government owns.

The eastern two thirds of the country have little federally owned land. The dominant belief at the time these states were developed was that private property is a natural right of the individual.

The government needed land only to fulfill its basic duties. There were Federal buildings, post offices and post roads, public parks and libraries, but federally owned land was kept at a minimum. The government mostly stayed out of the way, leaving the majority of land to private ownership.

Western states are different. Land ownership is inverted, and the feds own an overwhelming majority of the land. The dominant belief had shifted by the time these states were developed. By then, the new and dominant theory of progressivism had emerged.

Read more…

 

via

Load More