Beware Of a New Scam

I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it myself a couple times unintentionally…but this one is real, and it’s important.

(So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.)

If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up over your head – DO NOT DO IT!!

THIS IS A SCAM!!

They only want to see you naked

I wish I’d got this yesterday. I feel so stupid.

Email Of The Day: Fertilizer Club

This letter is being sent to you because we know that you are critically interested in the condition of your lawn. This is a fertilizer club that will not cost you a cent to join! Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top of the list and sh*t on their front lawn. You will not be the only one there, so do not feel embarrassed.

Then make five copies of this letter and send them to five of your friends who appreciate a good lawn. Add your name to the letter. You will not get any money or cheques, but within one week , if this chain is not broken, there will be 9,126 people sh*tting on your lawn. Your reward will come next spring when you will have one of the greenest, most beautiful lawns in the neighbourhood.

Mrs. Harry Butt – 236 Corn Cob Alley
Mrs. Smelly B. Hind – 475 Diarrhea Way
Mrs. Apple Crop – 1422 Enema Drive
Mrs. Bigger Movement – 89 Rectum Road
Mr. Go More Piles – 741 Hemorrhoid Street
Mr. C. Howie Farts – Whistle Britches Ave.
Mr. & Mrs. Charlie Springer – 2 Suppository Lane
Mr. & Mrs. Took A. Fizzik – 634 Running Loose Lane

P.S. If you are constipated, pass this along to your neighbor. Don’t break the chain. One Man didn’t give a sh*t and lost his entire lawn. Best wishes for a greener lawn, and more fun at your lawn parties!!!

Picture of Obama With His Parents Stirs Controversy

Oh come on… this is funny!

Marilyn Davenport, a Tea Party activist and member of the Orange County Republican Party’s central committee, is drawing fire from people in her own party after circulating a racist email depicting President Barack Obama and his parents as chimpanzees. In the email: “Now you know why — No birth certificate!”

The OC Weekly broke the story and were able to reach Davenport for comment. Her response:

“Oh, come on! Everybody who knows me knows that I am not a racist. It was a joke. I have friends who are black. Besides, I only sent it to a few people–mostly people I didn’t think would be upset by it.”

Source…

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it develops:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day:

—-the car isn’t washed,
—-the bills aren’t paid,
—-there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
—-the flowers don’t have enough water,
—-there is still o nly 1 check in my check book,
—-I can’t find the remote,
—-I can’t find my glasses,
—-and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this to everyone you know, because I don’t remember where I got it from.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!

Load More