Tag: Election 2008

Amusing

Angry Bill Clinton Says Barack Earbama Must ‘Kiss My Ass’ For His Support


Unity my arse! This just gets better by the day. The Clintons were brought down by a vast left wing conspiracy. The left found someone more loony than the Clintons are and threw them out faster than Michael Moore goes through a bucket of chicken!

Bill Clinton says Barack Obama must ‘kiss my ass’ for his support

Bill Clinton is so bitter about Barack Obama’s victory over his wife Hillary that he has told friends the Democratic nominee will have to beg for his wholehearted support.

Mr Obama is expected to speak to Mr Clinton for the first time since he won the nomination in the next few days, but campaign insiders say that the former president’s future campaign role is a “sticking point” in peace talks with Mrs Clinton’s aides.

The Telegraph has learned that the former president’s rage is still so great that even loyal allies are shocked by his patronising attitude to Mr Obama, and believe that he risks damaging his own reputation by his intransigence.

A senior Democrat who worked for Mr Clinton has revealed that he recently told friends Mr Obama could “kiss my ass” in return for his support.

A second source said that the former president has kept his distance because he still does not believe Mr Obama can win the election.

Mr Clinton last week issued a tepid statement, through a spokesman, in which he said he “is obviously committed to doing whatever he can and is asked to do to ensure Senator Obama is the next president of the United States “.

Mr Obama was more effusive at his unity event with Mrs Clinton on Friday, speaking fondly of the absent former president, who attended Nelson Mandela’s birthday celebrations in London instead. The candidate told the crowd: “I know how much we need both Bill and Hillary Clinton as a party. They have done so much great work. We need them badly.”

But his aides said he has so far concentrated on cementing relations with Mrs Clinton first. They say they are content to let relations with Mr Clinton thaw gradually.

It has long been known that Mr Clinton is angry at the way his own reputation was tarnished during the primary battle when several of his comments were interpreted as racist.

But his lingering fury has shocked his friends. The Democrat told the Telegraph: “He’s been angry for a while. But everyone thought he would get over it. He hasn’t. I’ve spoken to a couple of people who he’s been in contact with and he is mad as hell.

“He’s saying he’s not going to reach out, that Obama has to come to him. One person told me that Bill said Obama would have to quote kiss my ass close quote, if he wants his support.

“You can’t talk like that about Obama – he’s the nominee of your party, not some house boy you can order around.

“Hillary’s just getting on with it and so should Bill.”

Another Democrat said that despite polls showing Mr Obama with a healthy lead over Republican John McCain, Mr Clinton doesn’t think he can win.

The party strategist, who was allied to one of the early rivals to Mr Obama and the former First Lady, said Mr Clinton was “very unhopeful” about the nominee’s prospects in November.

“Bill Clinton knows the party will unite behind Obama, but he is telling people he doesn’t believe Obama can win round voting groups, especially working-class whites, in the swing states,” the strategist said.

“He just doesn’t think Obama will be able to connect with the voters he needs.”

Joe Klein, the author of Primary Colours, a fictionalised account of Mr Clinton’s 1992 election, who has known the former president for 20 years, said he also heard that he was “very, very bitter”, from people who have spoken with him.

“It’s time for him to get over it or go off and do his charitable work. He knows the rules of the road. What’s going on now is kind of strange. I think his behaviour is really, really shocking.”

Amusing

Suprise, Suprise, Suprise! Obama Has Deep Ethanol Ties

Do you want CHANGE? Well don’t look to Obama for it. He is just a typical Liberal politician, who panders to special interests and now wants to buy the presidency of the USA.

My bologna has a middle name, it’s H-u-s-s-e-i-n.

Obama, from corn-wealthy Illinois, has deep ethanol ties

When VeraSun Energy inaugurated a new ethanol processing plant in Charles City, Iowa, last summer, some of that industry’s most prominent boosters showed up. Leaders of the National Corn Growers’ Association and the Renewable Fuels Association, for instance, came to help cut the ribbon — and so did Sen. Barack Obama.

Then running far behind Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton in name recognition and in the polls, Obama was in the midst of a campaign swing through the state where he would eventually register his first caucus victory. And as befits a senator from Illinois, the country’s second-largest corn-producing state, he delivered a ringing endorsement of ethanol as an alternative fuel.

Obama is running as a reformer who is seeking to reduce the influence of special interests. But he also has advisers and prominent supporters with close ties to the industry.

His friend and surrogate, Tom Daschle, a former Senate majority leader from South Dakota, serves on the boards of three ethanol companies and works at a Washington law firm where, according to his online job description, “he spends a substantial amount of time providing strategic and policy advice to clients in renewable energy.”

Not long after arriving in the Senate, Obama briefly provoked a controversy when he twice flew at subsidized rates on corporate airplanes of the agribusiness giant Archer Daniels Midland, which is the nation’s largest ethanol producer and is based in his home state.

His Republican opponent, Sen. John McCain, advocates eliminating the multibillion- dollar annual government subsidies that domestic ethanol has long enjoyed. He also opposes the 54-cent-a-gallon tariff that the U.S. imposes on imports of ethanol made from sugarcane, which packs more of an energy punch than corn-based ethanol and is cheaper to produce.

Obama favors the subsidies, some of which end up in the hands of the same oil companies he says should be subjected to a windfall profits tax. He also supports the tariff, which some economists say may well be illegal under the World Trade Organization’s rules but which his advisers say is not.

Amusing

Confirmed: Hillary Clinton Did Beat John McCain at a Vodka Drinking Contest

It’s official. There are now three men running for office. This demonstrates that Hillary Clinton, graduate of Wellesley and Yale, wife of a Governor and President, Senator from New York, resident of one of the wealthiest areas in NY State, is, in fact, just one boys.

Hey, because they are such good drinking buddies, maybe McCain can make her his running mate after she loses to Obama.

How Hillary Clinton beat John McCain at vodka drinking

Should Hillary Clinton defy all odds to become the Democratic presidential candidate, she will know for a fact that she has the beating of her Republican rival John McCain…when it comes to drinking contests, at least.

It has emerged that Mrs Clinton took on Mr McCain at downing vodka shots when the two senators were on a congressional tour of Estonia in 2004.

Rumours of the drinking contest have surfaced before, but had always been dismissed as apocryphal until the story was finally confirmed by Mrs Clinton’s campaign manager, and by the owner of a restaurant in the Estonian capital of Tallinn.

Dimitri Demjanov, proprietor of Gloria’s, said the two political heavyweights managed four shots each before Mrs Clinton was declared the winner, though the rules of the contest remain somewhat opaque.

Was it first past the post? Did Mr McCain demand a recount? Mr Demjanov refused to say, but when asked who was the winner he did not hesitate before answering: ‘Hillary won. She stayed correct after four shots. And John McCain too.’

Mr Demjanov spoke briefly to the BBC after Terry McAuliffe, Mrs Clinton’s campaign manager, said in an interview that Mrs Clinton had ‘beaten’ Mr McCain in the drinking contest.

He said: ‘She loves to sit, throw ’em back. We all hear about the story that she and John McCain actually had a shot contest, I think in the Ukraine or somewhere around the world. And she actually beat John McCain in a shot contest.

‘She’s a girl from Illinois who likes to throw ’em down with the rest of us.’

Mr McCain’s ‘people’ were rather less forthcoming, saying their man had been for a few drinks with Mrs Clinton but denying a contest.

Quite why Mr McAuliffe chose to reveal the story at such a crucial time in the Democratic campaign is unclear, but tales of hard drinking rarely turn out to be vote winners.

Amusing

I’m Announcing My Candidacy for President of the United States of America

Because I am not happy with any of our current choices for the next President of our great country, I would like to announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America. Of course I will have to be a write in candidate but I promise if you vote for me, you won’t be disappointed. I mean what I say and do what I mean! In fact this will be my first televised speech the day after I am elected.

My fellow Americans

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq’s regime has been completed. The discovery and destruction of all weapons of mass destruction have been covered thoroughly in the press. A new Iraqi government has been established and appears to be stable.

Our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.

It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Bulgaria, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world’s nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the out years, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

I am ordering the immediate withdrawal of all US forces from Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and all other Middle Eastern nations. Leave us alone. Solve your own damn problems. Need help? Call Germany.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations; screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your relatives from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutless country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

Regarding the nation of Israel, I have this to say. It seems like everybody has forgotten what happened to European Jews during the 1930s and World War II. Our nation will never permit the destruction of Israel in no way PERIOD.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don’t give a damn about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch as your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos are turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors; Canada is on List 2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really needs an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around so guess where I am going to put them? Yep, border security. Oh, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty – starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we’ll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country’s oil needs for decades to come. If you’re an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, ‘tuff shit.’

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger and homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought; thank you guys. We owe you and we won’t forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

GOD BLESS AMERICA … Thank you and good night.’

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier. And remember, in November write my name on the ballot, Gags at Evaluation, so that I can turn this country around.

It is time for change… real change.

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