Tag: Coast Guard

Rules for the Non-Military

Dear Civilians,

‘We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.

For those of you who can’t join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem – kick their ass.

2. When you witness, firsthand, some one burning the American Flag in protest – kick their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues and telling others that you used to be ‘Special Forces’ will give us veterans a just reason to kick your ass.

5. Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will only make you look stupid and give us another reason to kick your ass.

6. The next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them,’Do you fly a jet?’ Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance gives those vets the right to kick your ass (children are exempt).

7. If you witness someone calling the Coast Guard ‘non-military’, inform them of their mistake – and then kick their ass.

8. The next time Old Glory ( the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her – of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a penalty, thus having a veteran kick your ass.

9. ‘Your mama wears combat boots’ never made sense to me – stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your ass!

10. ‘Flyboy’ (*Air Force*), ‘Jarhead’ (*Marines*), ‘Grunt’ (*Army*), ‘Squid’ (*Navy*), ‘Puddle Jumpers'(*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of endearment that we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them will give those service members the right to kick your ass.

11. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, or support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our Country would get it’s ass kicked.

12. It’s the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It’s the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It’s the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It’s the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.

AND ONE MORE:

13. If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish – KICK THEIR ASS.

THANK YOU