A Soldier’s Silent Night

This piece is generally credited to a Marine stationed in Okinawa, Japan. However, the original version, entitled “Merry Christmas, My Friend,” was written by Lance Corporal James M. Schmidt in 1986. It was later published in Leatherneck (Magazine of the Marines) in December, 1991. As usual, Urban Legends Reference Pages is the place to go when you need something cleared up.

Here is the link to the MP3 audio version (3.5MB) of “A Soldier’s Silent Night” – you can either stream it or right click and save as.


Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house made of plaster & stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give
And to see just who in this home did live.

I looked all about a strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stocking by the fire, just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kind
A sober thought came through my mind.
For this house was different, so dark and dreary,
I knew I had found the home of a soldier, once I could see clearly.

I heard stories about them, I had to see more
So I walked down the hall and pushed open the door.
And there he lay sleeping silent alone,
Curled up on the floor in his one bedroom home.

His face so gentle, his room in such disorder,
Not how I pictured a United States soldier.
Was this the hero of whom I’d just read?
Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?

His head was clean shaven, his weathered face tan,
I soon understood this was more than a man.
For I realized the families that I saw that night
Owed their lives to these men who were willing to fight.

Soon ‘round the world, the children would play,
And grownups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
Because of soldiers like this one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone
On a cold Christmas Eve in a land far from home.
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.

The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
“Santa don’t cry, this life is my choice;
I fight for freedom, I don’t ask for more,
my life is my God, my country, my Corps.”

With that he rolled over and drifted off into sleep,
I couldn’t control it, I continued to weep.
I watched him for hours, so silent and still,
I noticed he shivered from the cold night’s chill.

So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,
And I covered this Soldier from his toes to his head.
And I put on his T-shirt of gray and black,
With an eagle and an Army patch embroidered on back.

And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride,
And for a shining moment, I was United States Army deep inside.
I didn’t want to leave him on that cold dark night,
This guardian of honor so willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over, whispered with a voice so clean and pure,
“Carry on Santa, it’s Christmas Day, all is secure.”
One look at my watch, and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend, and to all a good night!


God Bless America again!

Porky Pig Performs Blue Christmas

The song Blue Christmas was originally recorded by Elvis but I would like to present a much better version, sung by one Porky Pig.

 

This song was actually recorded by North Carolina disc jockey Denny Brownlee. When he was threatened by Warner Brothers with a lawsuit, the song was re-released and attributed to “Seymour Swine and the Squealers.”

 

 

 

Is Santa A Democrat Or A Republican?


While nearly everyone has weighed in with speculation as to the likely party affiliation of Jesus, not much has been written about Santa Clause.

Would the jolly old man be a Democrat or a Republican?

Consider Santa’s Democrat tendencies:

  • Is a multilingual globalist
  • Exploits children to enhance his public image and retain power
  • Works just one night a year
  • Hangs around with and employs fairies (elves)
  • Illegally crosses U.S. borders every year

Then, consider Santa’s Republican tendencies:

  • Is a fat, old white guy who probably drinks too much and hates change
  • Conspires with big business once a year to rip-off millions of average Americans
  • Considers himself “compassionate” although he pays his elves far below minimum wage
  • Lives in a foreign land (North pole) to avoid paying U.S. taxes
  • Values the bottom line over the environment—think about all those reindeer droppings

Fact is, Santa seems split fairly evenly between Democrat and Republican. In that sense, the old boy reflects America almost perfectly!

From: Is Santa a Democrat or a Republican?

Santa Technical Facts: Santa Spends Only 34 Microseconds At Each Stop


As a kid, I never even considered the logistics. My only concern was that he made it to my house. This sounds like more spin from the US Surgeon General to make Santa drop a few pounds. Nice touch suggesting that the combined weight of Santa and his sleigh travelling at supersonic speed would result in total vaporization.

Santa Claus is coming to town — for 34 microseconds


Christmas is hectic for all but particularly for Santa, who must live in Kyrgyzstan and make his rounds at lightning speed if he is to deliver gifts to all the world’s children on time, a Swedish consultancy has concluded.

Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Santa Claus’s route around the planet includes stops at 2,5-billion homes, assuming that children of all religions receive a present from the jolly man in the red suit, Anders Larsson of the engineering consultancy Sweco told Agence France-Presse.

“We estimated that there are 48 people per square kilometre on Earth, and 20m between each home. So if Santa leaves from Kyrgyzstan and travels against the Earth’s rotation he has 48 hours to deliver all the presents,” he said.

Father Christmas has long been believed to reside at the North Pole, although a number of northern towns, including Finnish Rovaniemi, claim to be his true home.

But Sweco’s report on Santa’s most efficient route — which takes into account factors like geographic density and the fewest detours — shows that he wouldn’t be able to make his round-the-world trip from there in time.

“He has 34 microseconds at each stop” to slide down the chimney, drop off the presents, nibble on his cookies and milk and hop back on his sleigh, Larsson said.

Santa’s reindeer must travel at a speed of 5 800 kilometres per second to make the trip on time.

Another report circulating on the internet suggested however that Santa’s sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.


Previously:
US Surgeon General Says Santa Claus Is Fat And A Bad Role Model

US Surgeon General Says Santa Claus Is Fat And A Bad Role Model


I’m guessing that Santa is about 2000 years old. He must be doing something right with his diet to have lived so long. And come to think of it, doesn’t Mrs. Clause tell Santa that he has to put on more weight in the Christmas classic “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”? Who is Santa going to listen to, his own wife, or some politically correct hack? Keep him fat and jolly Mrs. Clause!

“Eat, Papa, eat! Nobody likes a skinny Santa!”

Top doctor in U.S. says big guy sets bad example


America’s top doc told the Herald yesterday that Santa Claus should slim down, in the latest blow struck in a global politically correct crusade against the jolly fat man.

“It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise. It is absolutely critical,” acting U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson said in an interview after a presentation on obesity at the Boston Children’s Museum.

Touting NFL players who work with kids to promote healthy lifestyles, Galson added: “Santa is no different.”

Santa’s waistline is the most recent casualty in a war which has already taken away his pipe and his ability to scoop children up and sit them on his knee.

Newspapers abroad have been filled with headlines bemoaning the plight of Australian Santas ordered not to say “ho, ho, ho” for fear of offending women or scaring children, and British Santas sent to boot camp to lose weight.

Some American Santas are taught not to greet people with “Merry Christmas” in case it offends people of different faiths, according to Tim Connaghan, founder of the International University of Santa Claus.
And the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas agrees with the acting surgeon general that Santa is just too fat. The organization has suggested its 800 members lose weight in time for its July convention to “set an example.”

“We think it is a health issue for Santa and for children and that Santa should be setting an example,” said Nicholas Trolli, president of Philadelphia-based AORBS.

Connaghan carried out a survey of more than 300 Santas that found the average weight was 256 pounds.

Some Santas agree that crosses the line from jolly to obese. Wendell Ritchie, a 63-year-old, 6-foot-5, 310-pound Santa from Springfield, said he wants to lose weight next year, although he does not believe Santa should be slim: “I’m an overweight Santa, but he is naturally rotund.”

Santa Rene L. Bureau, 59, of Lowell said he fears for the health of his fellow fat Santas.

“I find that a lot of us who are overweight suffer from health problems, from heart attacks to just having problems getting around,” he said.

Health experts concur.

“I thoroughly agree he should lose weight and we should find ways to make healthy foods more palatable to children,” said Dr. Meredith Harris, associate professor at Northeastern University. “Role models should be seen to be looking fit and living healthily.”

Bah, humbug, say other St. Nicks.

“It would cripple the image of Santa if they were to take his weight away,” said Santa Jim Manning, owner of South End-based santaboston.com.

“(Kids) are looking at my face. They could care less about the tummy,” agreed retired teacher Tom Geary, Santa at the Watertown Mall.

Santa’s jelly belly has nothing to fear from at least one local health honcho.

“While childhood obesity is a serious problem, we think Santa is fine just the way he is,” said Donna Rheaume, spokeswoman for the Massachusetts Department of Public Health.

But she added: “We would recommend people leave him healthier snacks this year like a nice apple or carrot and celery sticks, which have an added benefit because they are tasty for his reindeer, too.”


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