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Priscilla Presley Victim Of An Unqualified Plastic Surgeon

March 25, 2008 gags

If you have been watching “Dancing with the Stars” ~~like I have~~ like my wife has, you may have noticed that something doesn’t quite look right with Priscilla Presley. Her face is extremely bloated like she has had way too many Botox injections. Well there is news circulating out there that may offer a clue. It seems that her appearance may be the work of an unqualified plastic surgeon. The explanation for her appearance is that Priscilla was treated by Dr. Daniel Serrano who was imprisoned for injecting patients with unsafe forms of silicone.

In my opinion, things like this are to be expected when people mess with Mother Nature.

Priscilla Presley Was a ‘Victim’ of Bogus Doctor

Dancing With the Stars contestant Priscilla Presley is making news for something other than her footwork, acknowledging that she had once fallen victim to an unqualified plastic surgeon identified as Dr. Daniel Serrano.

In a statement released on Tuesday, a rep for the 62-year-old Presley said, “Priscilla Presley was one of many documented victims of Dr. Serrano. An investigation which uncovered his misconduct ultimately lead to his imprisonment. Ms. Presley dealt with this matter years ago and everything is well.”

In November 2004, federal agents arrested Serrano, who was only a nurse in the U.S., and charged him with importing and distributing a drug that was a combination of synthetic collagen and tiny solid beads that was legal in some countries but not approved by the FDA, PEOPLE reported at the time.

“He’s a very charming guy,” Ellen Lavinthal, who sometimes availed herself of Serrano’s services, told PEOPLE in Dec. 2004, “and he had a lot of fabulous endorsements from the women he had been treating.” She added: “He’s very good at taking advantage of women.”

In 2006, Serrano pleaded guilty in federal court in Los Angeles to conspiracy, smuggling and use of unapproved drugs, the Los Angeles Times reported. He was sentenced to 18 months in federal prison.

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Heather Mills To Get Around $50 Million In Divorce Settlement From Paul McCartney

March 14, 2008 gags

If you do the math, Paul has to pay Heather Mills $32,247 for every day he was married to her. Just think Eliot Spitzer was paying $4000 an hour. I think Eliot’s (bleep) cost more per hour than Paul’s.

Heather Mills Expected to Get $50M to $60M in Divorce From Paul McCartney

Heather Mills is expected to be awarded a lump sum of $50 million to $60.6 million in her divorce battle with Paul McCartney — the sum originally offered by the former Beatle.

On top of the lump sum, which may be paid in installments, there will be annual maintenance payments for the couple’s daughter, Beatrice, which could be as much as $202,000.

The draft judgment drawn up by Justice Bennett is now with the parties and will be formally delivered on Monday.

The judge will then hear argument as to whether some or all of his judgment should be made public.

But if both sides agree that they do not want any publicity, then the judgment will not be released.

Mills could now oppose publicity beyond the bare terms of the order as she may hope to reveal details of the couple’s marriage in interviews, a book or film.

Any public version would almost certainly be heavily revised but would aim to end speculation on how much McCartney is paying the former model from his reputed $1.7 billion fortune.

There have been reports of demands from Mills varying between $20.2 million and $162 million to end the four-year marriage.

If either she or McCartney do not agree with the judge’s verdict, the case could go to the Court of Appeal where High Court Family Division secrecy ends and the whole of the case will be in the public eye.

If, as expected, the judge has decided on a sum of $50 million to $60.6 million — a sum in line with predictions of specialist matrimonial lawyers — then Mills will not have received any more than originally on the table when she had the opportunity to reach a settlement with McCartney in the autumn.

However, she might have won her freedom not to be bound by a confidentiality clause. That refusal meant that that no agreement in the autumn could be reached and the issue therefore had to go before a judge.

Marilyn Stowe, a family lawyer, said that she had predicted an award of $40.4 million to $60.6 million. “Sir Paul’s famously frugal living standards will work in his favor,” she said.

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Madonna’s Addiction To Exercise Appears To Be Adding Years To Her Life

March 5, 2008 gags

The ever freakish celebrity world appears to have a new psychological dependence, and this time it’s not illegal. Judging by this photo, Madonna appears to be poster child for an alternate form of bulimia… exercise addiction.

I apologize in advance if you lose your lunch after you click on this link: Skin and veins: Celebrity gym-addicts whose love of exercise is spoiling their looks

The ever conscious world of celebrity appears to have fallen victim to a new addiction, and this time it’s not illegal.

Madonna appears to be one of the key members at the forefront of the trend for punishing workout schedules.

But it appears the results are less than pleasing to the eye, as the singer regularly exhibits intensely veiny hands, and pumped up forearms which would not look out of place on a professional bodybuilder.

The 49-year-old’s fear of getting older dictates her vigorous fitness drive. She begins her punishing routine with a three-hour session of Ashtanga yoga, followed by a Pilates session before lunch.

She then alternates her third daily session between karate, pumping iron, running, swimming, cycling and occasionally horse-riding. Fitness expert Cornel Chin said: “She clearly works out with weights to define her muscles.”

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Patrick Swayze Diagnosed With Pancreatic Cancer With Only Five Weeks Left to Live

March 5, 2008 gags

This kind of news is always weird. I can’t imagine a doctor telling me that I only had five weeks left to live.

Patrick Swayze Diagnosed With Cancer, Five Weeks Left to Live

Patrick Swayze, best known for his role in Dirty Dancing, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told that he has just five weeks to live.

Swayze, 55, has been sick with the disease since he was diagnosed in late January with pancreatic cancer. The cancer has since spread to other organs and now the actor/dancer is dying.

For the past month, Swayze has been traveling to Stanford University’s prestigious cancer center in Palo Alto for radical chemotherapy, but his doctors are no longer optimistic that the treatments will be successful, according to the National Enquirer.

Swayze received three treatments of chemotherapy, causing the tumor to shrink, but less than his doctors had hoped for. He was then told that he should prepare for the end.

Amusing

Jeff Healey Dies Of Cancer

March 3, 2008 gags

This is a sad note to be starting the week off with, but I just heard that music legend Jeff Healey passed away at the age of 41 after his life-long fight with cancer.

Healy lost his sight when he was one, but taught himself to play guitar by laying it flat on his lap when he was only three.

From his web site:

Following a lengthy struggle with cancer,
Healey passes away on the eve of the
release of a new blues rock album

Two extremely talented guitarists united together again. RIP