Tag: Al Qaeda
Al Qaeda on Strike
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain will begin a three-day strike on Monday, in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this August from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers’ union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( or B.O.O.M. ) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately called for strike action.
General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, “Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the crotch”.
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, where he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden said, “We sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.
Thanks to the Infidels, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don’t like cutting services but I’d hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.”
Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as “There are no virgins in their areas anyway”.
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle – now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like that they are not so keen on going to ‘paradise’.
The Confession of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
Can you say enemy combatant?
On March 10, 2007, Khalid Sheikh Muhammad stood before a U.S. military Combatant Status Review Tribunal to determine if he met the criteria to be classified as an “enemy combatant.” The public record of the hearing consists of a 26-page transcript (redacted pdf) and a 54:12-minute recording (redacted mpg).
If you listen to the tape or watch the video (above), it’s clear that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed understood the difference between information he surrendered while under duress and information he volunteered while not under duress, stating four times that he felt no force or coercion to offer his confession.
Muslim Terrorist Attempts to Detonate Explosive Aboard Detroit Bound Plane
Let me get this straight: A Muslim with a visa that indicates he wants to go to the US to attend a “religious celebration” on Christmas day is allowed to board a US flight with a one-way ticket? What more did the security screeners want? The signs were all there; Christmas day, a One-way ticket and a Nigerian Muslim.
We almost had a Christmas Day “Man-Caused Disaster” on our hands.
A Nigerian man who said he was an agent for al Qaeda tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines plane Friday as it was preparing to land in Detroit, but travelers who smelled smoke and heard what sounded like firecrackers rushed to subdue him, the passengers and federal officials said.
Flight 253 with 278 passengers aboard was about 20 minutes from the airport when passengers heard popping noises, witnesses said. At least one person climbed over others and jumped on the man. Shortly afterward, the suspect was taken to the front of the plane with his pants cut off and his legs burned, a passenger said.
One U.S. intelligence official said the explosive device was a mix of powder and liquid. It failed when the passenger tried to detonate it.
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