Clarification Of Hiring Lingo

Competitive Salary – We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Join Our Fast-Paced Company – We have no time to train you.

Casual Work Atmosphere – We don’t pay you enough to expect that you will dress up.

Must Be Deadline Oriented – You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

Some Overtime Required – Some time each night and some time each weekend.

Duties Will Vary – Anyone in the office can boss you around.

Must Have An Eye For Detail – We have no quality control.

Career-Minded – Female applicants must be childless (and stay that way).

Apply In Person – If you’re fat, old, or ugly, you will be told the position has been filled.

No Phone Calls Please – We already have someone for the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety of Experience – You will need it to replace three people who have just left.

Problem Solving Skills A Must – You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

Requires Team Leadership Skills – You will have the responsibilities of a manager; without the pay or respect.

Good Communication Skills – Management communicates; you listen, figure out what they want, and do it.