You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… when the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” five guys and two women stand up.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… The congregation of 500 members only has seven last names in the church directory.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… people think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… the collection plates are hubcaps from a 56 Chevy.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… instead of bells, you are called to service by a duck call.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… the communion wine is Boone’s Farm “Strawberry Hill”.
You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if… that “Thou shall not covet” thing applies to huntin’ dogs, too.
