Q: My wife is going through menopause. What can I do?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement or shed; when you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: How can I increase the heart rate of my 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q: Where can men or women over the age of 60 find young, sexy members of the opposite sex who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore — under fiction.
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you’re in front of a mirror, make sure you’re not wearing your glasses.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short-term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not the problem, retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually only in the afternoon.
Q: Where do 60+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “Hey! I remember these!”
Q: What is a 60+ year old’s most frequent thought when going from one room to another?
A: “What did I come here for?”
Q: What is the most effective form of birth control for people 60 and over?
A: Nudity.
